TheUnknownWriter

I'd like to start off by welcoming you to YWS! Hope you like it here :D I really like this poem. It's relatable and as to what nightshade said, it ...

Helloo :D nitpicks: - "Amy willed it to disappear, leaving her and her family alive and whole in its place. And her with them." This can be one sentence. - ...

Hello! Welcome to YWS! :D Overall, this is pretty good so far. Suggestions: - When you're writing you could include some of the MC's thoughts since it is in 1st ...

Helloo and welcome to YWS! 1. Fire: I think you're off to a pretty good start but some things you need to work on in this part of the prologue ...

Hi and welcome to YWS! I really like the first sentences and how right from the start we know his name, age, and some of the physical appearance of the ...

Hello and welcome to YWS! Overall, It's good. There are some things you need to work on: comma placement, spelling, conventions in general. I agree with shadegloe, It's was a ...

Hello! Welcome to YWS! I should warn you that I am rather blunt. Overall, I thought this was pretty short but it's fairly good so far. This short story seems ...

I think that this is really good. Like windsailor said, It's really intense and dramatic right from the start. The emotions in this prologue are so raw that it's kind ...

Good job! You did great at setting the mood- like Elizabeth said. You're very descriptive and I could make out the scenes in my head. Although you did seem to ...

Hey BookWolf! I feel like I'm attacking your portfolio haha XD I really like how this story is progressing. I sometimes catch a few lines that have some grammar mistakes ...

Hi JamesLB and welcome to YWS! Just like Elizabeth said, I also think that you did such an outstanding job at setting the mood. The emotions throughout this piece are ...

Hi clouds and welcome to YWS! Right off the bat I could see that you didn't separate the story into paragraphs which makes it difficult to read and overwhelming- Me, ...

Hi Bookwolf! This is awesome. You give a subtle way of introducing the appearance of Rune in the first paragraph which is great because it flows smoothly. You're great at ...

Hi, I'm back to do the review! Like I said before, I think that this is awesome. You have a great sense of imagery and nice descriptions. I spotted a ...

I really like this piece. I could very much relate to this because I've tried to start so many books but I have yet to finish one due to writer's ...