Author's Notes: If you guys don't like how this next part in the chapter is going just tell me and I can change it. Also, I might be interested in a different name for the story, so if any of you have an idea I'd be glad to hear about it.
Maven entered the cave after Rune, followed by his companions that had helped get her out of prison. A few faces she remembered from when she was little, but most were strangers that she felt wary about. She had easily recognized her brother when his face had appeared through her cell door, but now, really seeing the way he walked, talked, and held himself, she realized just how much he had changed -- and she hoped it was for the better. As they were growing up she had always been taller. But now he was in the lead by at least two inches. His once blond hair as a child had darkened and one could almost describe it as brown. His jaw had expanded into a much more mature and manly look, and he now had large, muscular arms.
A fire blazed in the heart of the cave. Once completely inside Maven saw even more people. Several cheered and congratulated the group, but the rest eyed her suspiciously or merely stared.
“Well done Rune!” said a well-muscled man when everyone had calmed down.
Maven's brother went up to the man, a large smile across his face. “The plan was perfect, just like you said.”
The man shrugged, also smiling. “It wasn't that hard.” His eyes flicked over at Maven. “So, will she be staying?” he asked as though she were some filthy animal.
“Of course,” Rune started, but Maven snapped over his voice;
“No, I'll be leaving quite soon.”
Now everyone was certainly looking straight at her, mainly because she had just interrupted their “leader”, but her gaze was locked with Rune.
“What do you mean you're leaving soon?” Rune snarled. “We just saved you! You owe us.”
“I owe you nothing,” she hissed coldly. “Really all you did was get me out a month early. If you hadn't come at all I would have been able to get out anyway.”
All was silent as brother and sister glared at each other.
Finally, Rune cleared his throat, looking away. “Right,” he muttered, half to himself. “Well, the least we can do is let you stay the night, then you can be on your way.” He looked as though he wanted to ask how she would have been able to get out on her own, but he kept his mouth shut.
Maven nodded, accepting these terms and Rune showed her where she would be sleeping. Which was at the very back of the cave, farthest from anyone else.
Maven laid down and put her head on a straw-filed pile she had been given She watched as Rune and his people settled down for the night, talking softly amongst themselves. Only now did she notice just how many children there were. She counted six, but there were probably more hidden in the midst of the adults. A couple of the children glanced her way, but when they met her gaze they looked fearfully away, rushing to people that looked like their parents.
Sleep came very slowly, but at last when it did, her dreams were consumed in confusion and mystery.
Maven blinked her eyes open and sat up. Rune was sitting at the cave entrance, leaning against a wall, fast asleep. She and a few others were the only ones awake. The light outside was growing stronger, which told her morning was quickly on its way. A couple more people awoken, and soon the cave was full of commotion. Rune was now stirring and soon on his feet. He began pulling raw meat out from a crevice in one of the walls and handing them over to people so that they could cook it. And not once did he glance over at her – not that she cared.
Then Maven felt a sort tingling on the side of her face and her gaze flicked over to her right, where a boy sat, staring unflinchingly at her. He had a creepy air about him that went perfectly with his white-blonde hair. His face was pale and had knowing golden eyes. Maven narrowed her eyes intimidatingly, hoping to scare him away, but he didn't even blink.
“Yes, boy?” she growled at last, quickly losing her patience.
He blinked, but it didn't remove the dark interest within them. He looked over his shoulder at Rune, then turned back to her. “May I speak with you?” he asked.
Maven almost snapped a no, but a quire feeling stopped her from saying anything along those lines. At first she was silent, and then she realized with a start what had happened. This boy had the Manipulator Gift! She grinned to herself and immediately started blocking all his attempts at controlling her emotions.
She saw his eyebrows furrow with concentration. And after a while saw a trickle of sweat go down the side of his face.
“Come here,” Maven ordered. She felt his power vanish from within her and she knew he had stopped trying.
The boy looked slightly startled, but the slight emotion quickly went away and he walked over to her, sitting down a couple of feet away.
“What is your name?” she asked.
“Fyron Crane,” he answered, looking her in the eye better than her own brother did.
“And how old are you?”
“Twelve.”
“Really?” Maven purred smoothly. “You look much older than that.”
His face was plain and didn't seem to respond, in any way, to her compliment.
“Is your name Maven?” he questioned simply.
“That it is.” For some reason she felt a growing liking for this boy – and it had nothing to do with him secretly Manipulating her emotions. “I've been in prison for seven years,” she added, curious at his reaction.
“I know,” he said. “Why?”
Maven thought on it for a moment. Why did she get thrown into prison? Oh yes, murder. “I killed someone and got caught.” Fyron struck her as someone who would not want something said sweetly to spare his feelings. And she was right, because he merely looked interested.
“Who did you kill?”
Maven tensed, but she had known all along this question would come up. “The man who killed my father,” she whispered.
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Hello Again!
I am glad you answered a question here, otherwise I might have exploded with "unknowingness".
But now, two more questions have evolved (which is good
) Who killed her and Rune's father, and why did they do it?
I agree with Caitlyn, I love Maven's character! This was very, VERY good! I like where this is heading! I only have on little nitpick.
Now, on to Chapter Two! 
Question One, answered!
"straw-filed" should be straw-filled. Nothing big at all though really.
-SnazzyPencil
Caitlyn here! I really like Mavin and her personality. She's very snarky. And the aura of mystery surrounding her is intoxicating.
I'm also liking the cliff-hangers you give. Addicting.
One thing I have a few problems with it, though.
"A couple more people awoken...." Perhaps you meant "A couple more people wake...."?
"His face was plain and didn't seem to respond, in any way, to her complement." Replace 'complement' with 'compliment'.
"He had a creepy air about him that went perfectly with his white-bold hair." Is 'bold' supposed to be there? Or did you mean 'blonde'?
"“Yes, boy?” she growled at last, quickly losing her patients." Replace 'patients' with 'patience'.
Other than those few grammatical nit-picks. I found nothing wrong! I love the story line so far and I can't wait to get to know the characters more.
One question though. Why is your name "BookWolf" but your profile picture is a cat?
And one request. I know Rune has powers, but does Maven? What kind of powers do the siblings have? Can you mention that sometime soon!
Over and out!
-Caitlyn
Thanks for the review! I'm really happy that you love my story line. Yes, Maven does have powers, but the reason I just don't say them all at once is because I want my readers to learn about them as she uses them. Also because I think it would ruin the flow of the story. But I did mention one of her powers in Chapter 2, Part 1.
I can see how it looks weird, but I like it.
Now to the question about my name and picture. First of all, it took some debating on whether to have a wolf picture or not after I chose that as my name. But in the end I wanted my profile to express my love of books, wolves, and cats.
Awesome picture by the way. Tigers are my favorite big cat.
Thanks!
I like tigers, too. Sleek and powerful.
Hi Bookwolf!
This is awesome.
You give a subtle way of introducing the appearance of Rune in the first paragraph which is great because it flows smoothly. You're great at describing visually that I could imagine it in my mind. However, what I think you need to work on is on the grammatical side of things. You sometimes slip when it come to past and present tenses. I also see some lines where a comma isn't needed or when it is. Ironically, this is one of the things I need to work on too.
"A fire blazed in the heart of the cave."
This is an example of how you've got the visual descriptions down.
"His face was plain and didn't seem to respond, in any way, to her complement."
Spelling error: compliment*
And again with the cliffhanger! Haha I'm glad to see that chapter two is up XD
I really like Maven so far. Her personality is so mysterious- like ambeezy said. All in all, you have a lot of potential. You are really good at describing that I could see it play through in my head- which is what you want your readers to experience when reading your story. Sorry for the short review and keep writing!
Thank you so much for this review!
I can't tell you how much I've been encouraged about my writing thanks to reviews like yours.
No problem!
Oops, messed up in reply.
"Maven didn't kill her father, she killed to man who did."
Hello there BookWolf! (cool username btw)

Ambeezy here for a review!
Okay so some nitpicks!
So I like how you put Maven's thoughts about the changes she see's in her brother. That's good! However, I think you could make this part even better by describing what Rune looks like. Like how tall he is, what kind of physique he has, the color of his hair. You could have Maven compare how he looks now, to how he used to look before since the last time she seen him.
So for this section, I think the last sentence "A fire blazed in the heart of the cave" should be the first sentence since its pretty much a statement. So it would go something like:
A fire blazed in the heart of the cave. Once completely inside, Maven saw even more people. She watched as several cheered and congratulated the group, while the rest eyed her suspiciously or merely stared.
You put lay & laid in the same sentence so it sounds a bit off since one is past tense & the other is present tense.
I think you meant *mystery. Also, maybe you could add why her dreams were so confusing and mysterious? What was she dreaming about?
The word *was should be in-between "Rune" and "sitting"
Instead of awoken, this should say: A couple more people started to awake, and soon the cave was full of commotion. Only because "awoken" is past tense.
Awesome use of descriptive detail. However, earlier in this paragraph, you said Rune was fast asleep. Now all of a sudden he's pulling raw meat. Perhaps you could mention how Rune had also gotten up as well.
Okay so at first I didn't know what you meant by "instinct flash". But now I do after reading the whole sentence. However, when you say instinct, it usually means doing something automatically without thinking. For this part, she's sensing that someone is starting at her. So you could say a tingling awareness or tingling sensation. Or another word that describes that prickling feeling in the back of your neck when you know something is up.
You have an awesome description about what this boy looks like. However the sentence reads kind of choppy and I think you could write it so it flows better. I think you should put the creepy air about him as your first sentence. And then you can begin to describe what was so creepy about him.
Okay phew nitpicks are over!
First off, I really really like Maven. She's so mysterious and has this whole Bad ass thing going on. I love it. I'm so curious as to why she feels so bitter against her brother Rune? I mean, she didn't even say thank you for breaking her out of jail! Also, those other people in the cave, do they all have special powers too? Are they called something? You know like how wolverine and storm are called mutants in X-Men. Do these people with these talents go by a special name too?
Overall, awesome job! I love how you ended it with that cliffhanger about Maven killing her father. Looking forward to the next part!!
Okay, first of all I am SO, SO happy you think Maven is cool. I was worried people wouldn't like her.
I love your reviews because you always point out things that I never would have thought of. I'll make sure and update as soon as possible.

I'm not sure if you meant to type what you said at the end, or maybe you did and just didn't read my ending right. Maven didn't kill her father, she the killed to man who did.
I'm saving why Maven is so bitter towards Rune for kind of a secret, but there is a reason. And yes, a few people in the cave (like Fyron) do have powers. I haven't decided what to call them yet, if you had any ideas that would be great.
Oh and...
Thanks for the review, I plan for the next part to be in 2 to 4 days. I'll make sure to alert you when its published.
Oh right, sorry! *smacks forehead*. That's what I meant, about Maven killing the guy who killed her father! Yeaa I think Maven is cool! The cynical characters always have the best background stories. There's a reason why they're like that. Oh & I'm glad you like my reviews! I hope it wasn't too harsh? This story has such great potential. Btw, whenever you're not busy, maybe you could review a chapter of a book I'm writing? Only for chapter 1 lol. However, its a Romance novel set in 1842 London. So if you're not into that type of genre, by all means, you don't have to read it haha.
Oh know you're not being too harsh at all! I love it when people review like you do.

And of course I'll check out that chapter, even though its not my favorite genre.
Also, already updated my story with your suggestions.
Can't wait for the next part!
I'll make sure and tell you when it comes out!