Afraid

Hello CapitalMonday here for a review. I first want to say how well-done this poem is and how you actually touched my heart since there might be little girls out there that have to do everything around the house, as if they are Cinderella.

A few nitpicks:

you immediately think she's ok Maybe try spelling out okay since the regular "ok" seems like you are agreeing with something.

marks, bruises, and plasters I am a little confused on why you used the word -plasters since "plaster" in a sense, is like a cast (is that what you mean?)

always seems to fail in life Change that to always gets turned down

she's tired of faking Change that to why she is faking

Overall, I think that poem gives a great message since most girls have to do what they have to do in order for the parents not ground them or punish them for what they didn't do. I believe this story could relate to my sister, who has been working around our house forever and no one thanks her for what she has done. Now, when i read this poem, I think of her.

Farewell,
CapitalMonday

Hello I'm new here too and I'm into poetry as well!
I would like to start out by saying that the title was the most important thing for me cause while I was going through all the poems in the main site, that one, yours caught my eye.
Moving on to the actual work I'd like to say that you did a really good job, giving the reader a pretty accurate image of what was happening to that little scared girl.
Maybe you could try focousing a little bit more on how she feels and what her thoughts are.
Also, I'm a little conserned about the fact that you don't clear up IF actually you know whats going on "when the door closes" or if you are just supposing.
But overall it was a pretty good one! I enjoed it

-Pavlina
Check out my poem and review it if you'd like! I'd appreciate it lots.

I'd like to start off by welcoming you to YWS! Hope you like it here

I really like this poem. It's relatable and as to what nightshade said, it reflects real life and real emotion. It flows very well and before I knew it, the poem was over.

But I have some nitpicks:
"She looks in the mirror , weeps quietly."
The comma could be replaced with 'and'
Also there is no space between the word 'mirror' and the comma
I think you need to work on your comma placement but I struggle with it as well so I may be wrong.

Overall, this is a very beautiful poem that I believe you dedicated it to someone so it seems like a personal piece. Thank you for sharing it
Keep writing!

I love this poem because it reflects real life and real emotion. It reminds me of so many people that I see every day. This poem seems very personal to you and I'm privileged to read it. You are a great writer and I look forward to reading more of your work. Happy writing!

Goodness, gracious. This is one of the most powerful works I've set my eyes on. To me, it was extremely relatable because I've taken care of a few little girls with similar personalities. Was this personal to you? It sounded so accurate that I thought maybe it came from an experience you had before. (Sorry, had to edit. I'm new here and accidentally clicked out before I was finished D: )