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Re: verse for untitled & unfinished song
This is really nice. I like all the internal rhymes and alliteration. It's really punchy, something that I could imagine working well as lyrics over some intense emotional folk piece, ...
Jun 28 -
Re: The Dark Green Rug
This is very good, I love the conciseness and precision of your writing. The narration/the voice of the protagonist sounds super believable. The Uncle's definitely a creepy character. I'm a ...
Oct 31, 2024 -
Re: The Sun and the Moon
Hey there. You've got a lovely writing style; I love the simple way that you move from one subject naturally onto another, without making sentences too complicated or messy. You're ...
May 25, 2023 -
Re: Our Funny Little Group -Xandra
Hey there! This is pretty lovely. I particularly like how the narrator comes across as a very vivid, clearly painted person. She's got an interesting way of behaving, like she ...
May 25, 2023 -
Re: A New Adventure (Christmas Carol Song Entry)
Hello, this was a great idea for a story. It's great how you've used Inuit names and depicted a believable society of reindeer. I always like little info-drops that are ...
Dec 24, 2019 -
Re: Trashy Hotel Room
Hiya, this was pretty enjoyable, you're obviously pretty skilled at using rhyme and rhythm. The changes in the two between stanzas seemed to make sense; the whole poem felt very ...
Dec 24, 2019 -
Re: On My Way
Hi there, this is my first review in a while so I apologise if I'm out of practice. I thought I'd try bring up some stuff that Anamel might have ...
Dec 24, 2019 -
Re: F.E.A.R
Hi there! Welcome to YWS! This is a great site so I hope that you have a good time here. If you have any questions then PM any moderators of ...
Apr 10, 2017 -
Re: Rap-Unzel
Hi there! This certainly drew me in. I love a good modern take on a classic fairy tale. I can imagine this being the plot for some interesting stage play, ...
Apr 1, 2017 -
Re: The Wolf is Still with Us
Hi, this was brilliant. You have a whole host of brilliant ideas pushing through here. I'm loving the idea of the horror stories mirroring the events of the outside world. ...
Mar 8, 2017 -
Re: Tales: Chapter 1
Hi, this was a very interesting introduction to what I'm sure will prove to be a very interesting story. I can see the very original method you're taking in creating ...
Feb 23, 2017 -
Re: Pirate Revolution Chapter 1(One Piece Spinoff)
Hi there Terian here for a review! Welcome to YWS by the way since I saw that you joined on the 30th! OK, so first of all, I'd love this ...
Jan 10, 2017 -
Re: Mysterious Screams (Chapter 1)
Hi there, Terian here to get this work on the way out of the Green Room. As I took a look at this chapter, I was slightly dubious when starting ...
Dec 26, 2016 -
Re: Luminous (old version)
Hi there, Terian here to do the first review for this work! If you'll forgive me, I think that I'll just go over chapter one, as I'm not if I ...
Dec 23, 2016 -
Re: The Boy
Hi Terian here! This was a pretty good short story with a neat little concept, and well written description of characters, place, action, etc. The idea was pretty good, but ...
Dec 23, 2016
