z
  • Home

Young Writers Society


E - Everyone

A New Adventure (Christmas Carol Song Entry)

by niteowl


We first saw her in spring, watching us from across the river as we moved north to the calving grounds. Day after day, she followed us. Word spread through the herd about the stranger, but none had seen her before. Some thought she was an enemy, a lure from hunters. Others thought she was simply a stray old doe, a stranger we should care for as one of our own.

Despite the herd's wariness, my instincts led me across the river to her, the same way they led our herd north to the calving grounds and south to the winter lands. I was always the daredevil, nosing into beehives and accidentally waking bear cubs. My mother thought I was foolish until Nukilik praised my bravery. He won the antler duels every fall, and she hoped that he'd claim me this year. An honor, perhaps, but did I want to bear calves?

Finally, I reached our follower, who bowed. “Hello there! Don’t be afraid. I’m not dangerous, just a silly old woman with a story. I’m Vixen, and you are…?”

“Kallik.”

"Ah, lightning. How fitting. I was hoping you would come hear my tale.”

A tale? I was intrigued. I loved hearing the elders recall past springs, the trying migrations in harsh winters, the narrow escapes from wolves and bears. However, Vixen’s was more extraordinary. She spoke of a magic village, a place where reindeer could fly and a man called Santa Claus who brought gifts to human children.

As she finished, she made me an offer. "I am seeking a successor for our herd, as I am getting too old to fly with the sleigh. Would you like to join us?” I looked at the sky, wondering how it would feel to race among the stars, when a booming voice interrupted us.

"Old doe, what is the meaning of this? You better not hurt little Kallik!" Of course, Nukilik felt the need to rescue me.

"Sir, I mean no harm. I was simply talking to her."

"Talking? You were trying to lure her away with tall tales!"

"I speak the truth. I can't make her join me, just as you can't make her stay. Let her decide."

The way Nukilik was glaring at us, I knew he wouldn't listen. I wanted to say goodbye to my mother and friends, but if I crossed back, I would never get to fly. I would mate with Nukilik, birth calf after calf, and always gaze at the stars with regret. So I ran west like a wolf was chasing me.

When Vixen caught up, she assured me that Nukilik had given up the chase. Soon enough, we reached a clearing with reindeer attached to a berry-red contraption that gleamed like fresh snow. I had never seen anything so sleek and shiny, and I had certainly never seen a human as large as the bearded one in it. He came over to greet us.

"So you're the one Vixen's had her eye on. Welcome aboard, dear! We'll take good care of you at the North Pole. Come, let me show you your new friends." The other reindeer rejoiced, and the one in front had a nose glowing like a tiny red sun.

"Hi, I'm Rudy. Nice to meet you..."

"Kallik, but perhaps we should give her a more traditional moniker..." Vixen replied.

"How about Comet?" the man, Santa Claus, suggested. Vixen explained that comets are falling stars that shoot across the sky. A fitting new name for my new life.

The man pulled out a pouch. "Well Comet, are you ready to fly?" I nodded eagerly. "Okay, let me suit you up, then with some magic dust, you'll be ready to roll." He put something over my eyes. "These are goggles. We go so fast up there that you need them to see." He sprinkled some dust and had me run as fast as I could. I galloped, feeling the ground vanish beneath me as I climbed higher and higher. The trees and rivers looked so different from above, much smaller.

Suddenly, I heard a piercing whistle and I found myself turning back and descending, skidding as I hit the ground. "That was quite a test run there, Comet." Santa patted my back. "This whistle here keeps everyone in sync. Looks like we have to work on landing, but everyone does at first."

After a few more practice runs, I got better at landing, and Santa decided I was ready to help take the sleigh back to the North Pole. The reins itched at first as he hooked me up behind Rudy, but once we were in the air, the sleigh felt surprisingly light.

Soon, we reached the North Pole. The lights and colors were overwhelming at first, but with the help of Santa and the other reindeer, I eventually settled in. I spent my days practicing flying with Rudy as Vixen watched.

Finally, the day came for us to lead the sled full of gifts around the world. True to his word, Santa missed no one. We stopped at gleaming skyscrapers and tiny trailers, islands that burned with heat and lands like home cloaked in snow and darkness. I got to see the lit-up cities, hear the children shout with joy, taste the cookies that were much better than lichen, and feel the wind on my fur as we sped into the night. I was living the tales that had seemed unbelievable just months before. When we finished, I saw my homeland below. How small it seemed now that I had flown across oceans!

The next spring, I returned home, much to my mother's surprise. Nukilik told everyone I had been taken by a wolf, but even he was speechless as Rudy and I flew above them. I promised to visit again, but I had a new herd, a new family with the one humans called "the little Saint Nick". 

A/N: My song was "Little St. Nick" by the Beach Boys. I ended up doing a 180 from my original idea, which was the reindeer having to retire due to the motorized sled mentioned in the song. That was depressing and didn't fit the tone of the song, so I went with something more upbeat and added details from the song. Also, fun fact, male reindeer shed their antlers in November so Santa's reindeer must be all female if they have antlers in December. I used Inuit names for the reindeer since they live in Alaska-"Kallik" means lightning and "Nukilik" means the strong one. 


Is this a review?


  

Comments



User avatar
1260 Reviews

Points: 1630
Reviews: 1260

Donate
Sat Jan 11, 2020 3:34 am
View Likes
Elinor wrote a review...



Hey niteowl!

Here's your review, as promised! Thanks again for taking the time to write a story for the contest, and I hope you enjoyed writing this as much as I enjoyed reading it and putting the contest together.

I thought this was a super unique but fun and creative take on the song. I also don't if I've quite seen another story from the perspective of one of Santa's reindeer, and if I have, it's alway been Rudolph. I only saw the Rankin-Bass Rudolph special one time as a kid and it freaked me out so I haven't revisited it since then. I also thought you did a great job of capturing the upbeat tone of the song.

I also love how you show her curiosity. And I understand I confined you with a word limit, but I would have loved to have seen more of her reaction to the first Christmas, and what she makes of this world beyond her own. Other than that, I don't have too much to critique! The writing was evocative and really drew me in.

Hope you're having the best of times in the new year!

All the best,
Elinor




niteowl says...


Thanks! Yeah in the first draft I realized I was running out of room way too early. I def feel like I tried to do a 2-3000 word story in 1000 words whoops. In retrospect, maybe I should have had her start at the North Pole as a new recruit with less focus on where she was before.



User avatar
32 Reviews

Points: 14
Reviews: 32

Donate
Tue Dec 24, 2019 2:40 pm
Terian805 wrote a review...



Hello, this was a great idea for a story. It's great how you've used Inuit names and depicted a believable society of reindeer. I always like little info-drops that are used in fantasy stories like this, giving the sense of a wider world. For example, I enjoyed your mention of the 'Antler Duels', the 'calving grounds' etc. Your writing style is very economical and clear: it seemed suitable for a little fairy tale like this. Your similes/methods are all pretty fun: I like the description of Santa's sledge as 'berry red', and how Kallik '...ran west like a wolf was chasing (Her).' These are very suitable, well placed similes, as berries evoke holly, and obviously she's a reindeer so she doesn't like wolves!

Maybe the only thing I'd like to see more of is the motivation behind Kallik. At the start of the story, maybe spend a paragraph or two establishing her restlessness. Her desire to be more than just your average reindeer. Other than that though, this was very enjoyable, the sort of story I'd like to see more of. Well done, and merry christmas!




niteowl says...


Thanks for the review! I%u2019m glad you liked it. The problem is I have a 1000 word limits I%u2019m already close to, so adding another paragraph won%u2019t work. I%u2019ll have to think about how to contain the story better.



User avatar
13 Reviews

Points: 262
Reviews: 13

Donate
Fri Dec 20, 2019 2:39 am
View Likes
stinasobi says...



This is so cool i like the creative idea of this story. Well done!




niteowl says...


Thank you! :D



stinasobi says...


nppppp




I have a Gumbie Cat in mind, her name is Jennyanydots; Her coat is one of the tabby kind,with tiger stripes and leopard spots.
— T.S. Eliot, Old Possum's Book of Practical Cats