Young Writers Society

Hello!
This poem is really great! I love you start it really casual, but then it evolves into this powerful poem about less fortunate people.
You don’t capitalize the beginning of every line, which works. It makes the whole thing flow a lot better, even though it doesn’t affect how it would sound if someone were to read it out loud.
I also like how you put three dashes at the beginning and end, and one dash in between every stanza. It makes the end seem that much more final and the beginning more definite.
The only thing I would change is the last paragraph. It was probably just me, but it was a little confusing. I don’t get how we can’t take in the things that we’ll always see. I get there’s a difference between seeing and taking in, but it was kind of confusing to me.
Overall, keep doing what you’re doing!
-Rana Noodles

I loved this poem! It helped me realize how lucky I am to have things, even if I do not think of it. It is very easy to read and the formatting is wonderful. There is one thing that jumped out to me, but it may not be a mistake. In the lines:

"...I have plenty, yet we sweep that away like brooms..."

You say "you" have plenty, but "we" sweep that away. I would suggest that you use only one pronoun and say, "we have plenty, yet we sweep that away." I think it makes more sense that way. Otherwise, this piece was excellent. The grammar, spelling, and punctuation was all correct. Keep on writing and Merry Christmas!

Great Piece.
This poem made me realize how I fail to appreciate and overlook somethings I regard as little in this world which is so not right, because these 'little' things are the things that make living more beautiful.
"Some have nothing,

some have none.

Some have something,

some have some."
I really like the pun vibe this line gives me, and how such few words spoke loudly to me drawing my attention back to appreciating certain things in life.

"I have plenty,

but we sweep that away like brooms,

so we never see the beauty,

of trashy hotel rooms."

Another favorite stanza which to me places more emphasis on people being prone to overlook and not appreciate these little things they feel are unnecessary. I like the simile you used to represent such a case,
"...but we sweep that away like brooms..."
the broom simile emphasizing how they are belittled, is so on point!

Such a great wise poem. I love it.
Good job buddy, it is amazing.

Hiya, this was pretty enjoyable, you're obviously pretty skilled at using rhyme and rhythm. The changes in the two between stanzas seemed to make sense; the whole poem felt very fluid. For example, on stanzas 1, 2, and 3, you consistently used half rhymes on the second and fourth lines, before using full rhymes in the case of the last two stanzas. I liked that, it gave weight to the message of your poem, showing how your hotel room has given you a clear view of the world. This is a fun poem, it feels quite whimsical. I like poems which fixate on parts of everyday life, and find the significance within them.

I think that some of the language choices could be a bit more effective. You should think about which words would best emphasise the imagery you're trying to get across. For example, the lamp could be shining 'greasily' or 'murkily' or 'dingy' or 'gloomy', as I've often felt that some hotel rooms I've stayed in are like that! Perhaps the simile 'We sweep that away like brooms' could become a metaphor 'We sweep them away like brooms' evoking a kind of dirty, messy, room and fitting with your theme. Despite all this, there isn't much bad to say about this poem! Keep writing

Please review! Like I said, I have recently just gotten back from taking a short break from writing (about a few months), so I am a bit rusty.
Also, I am trying out a new rhythm! Tell me how you like it?

Enjoy, and merry Christmas!

~@SuperOriginalName