SweetMarie

I liked it! First, let me get to my nitpick things, and then I will commence with the compliments. First of all, if I were you (which I'm not, so ...

The good sir/miss who commented below me covered a bunch of what I was going to say. But I have a particular confusion with this one paragraph that maybe you ...

I guess I was a little confused about this one. I realize you could be switching the narrator or something, but I guess I'm just a little bit confused. Are ...

Okay I've only been on here a few days, but this is my absolute favorite piece I've read so far, and this is why: it was confusing and vague and ...

Okay so I got a really strong slam poem vibe from this. I am also going to reveal my bias so you know: uncapitalised poems drive me bonkers, but that's ...

I like this a lot! It's always hard to review short pieces because generally they tend to be simpler in theme and imagery and whatnot, plus your is fairly tight, ...

See, everyone always talks about adding more. More length, more detail, more specificity, but the best poems are sometimes short and concise. On that front, I think you're fine, but ...

I really don't know how to feel about this endeavor. I feel like you might need to pick a more consistent tone. Actually, yea, I think that's what is throwing ...

This was really very very good. I think this is a fantastic way of entering back story on the characters, and furthering the characterization of them now, particularly by having ...

First of all, I really liked it. I thought the spacing was cool, and gave the poem a new visual aspect to it. To be super super nitpick-y to start ...

So, I'm going to disagree with one of the other posters about the capitalizing every line. It's up to you if that's the style you want to go for. Thousands ...

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So, I don't know much about the character you're trying to go for, but it almost seems like you are caught between two voices in this piece. What would make ...