I'll always remember you

I like how you describe the way this one person felt about the lost one and what he or she remembers about the one that's gone. It really makes this poem lovely and the reader is able to form an image of the lost person in their mind.

I'm not sure if this really matters, but in line eight you wrote I with a small 'i'. Also in the second last line, shouldn't it be 'And search for everything we lacked'? Since in the line before that it was about wishing to go back, meaning in the past. So it should be written in the past tense and then continued in the past tense with the next one.

I think that this poem should be a bit longer. For example, add more memories that this person had about the lost one to make the reader feel like he or she is the person that lost someone dear in this poem. And then continue on with the part where the person goes away or disappears. This will make the reader feel like this happened to them.

This was good, but maybe just write a bit more.

The idea of choosing a romantic one is really an attracting point in the poem .The style of writing is appreciable and the writer had put a good time for writing the poem the ending lines has a different impact on this poem even though I am not a perfect writer to command and point out the mistakes in the poem I would like to say that you had put some effort in writing this poem the ending has a positive impact in this poem and among the few poem which I went through this is a notable one . The poem was quite a simple and understanding one

I like the description, the emphasis, and your openness to whatever gender the reader wants the person to be. I think you have an imaginative thinking style because this is completely from the heart about someone you love or loved. I also would say that you should use punctuation to help it flow easier. Other than that Bravo!

Hi rainynight13. I see you've joined recently, so welcome to YWS!

As a general idea for a poem, this is something that has loads of potential. Lots of emotion could be drawn from something like this. I also liked the repetition of 'I'll always remember you', it sums up the ideas of the poem well.

I have a few suggestions for this though. Firstly, it's so short, and right now very generic. I can think of so many situations that these words could potentially apply to, so I think you just need it a bit more specific. I don't know if you were actually basing this poem on some real experiences, but if you were you could draw on them a bit. Even if not, just try and add a more personal touch to it, otherwise your poem won't be able to stand out from the rest.

A way to do this would be to use some poetic techniques which this poem has a lack of. For example, you could use some metaphors and/or similes which link to this situation. Metaphors relating to missing someone/ losing someone would work well here. Again, if you have something specific in mind here, feel free to use it so long that you're comfortable with it. This piece could definitely use some more imagery/descriptions too, so just try not to be so straight forward if that makes sense.

How I wish I could go back

And search for everything we lack

See, everyone always talks about adding more. More length, more detail, more specificity, but the best poems are sometimes short and concise. On that front, I think you're fine, but again that's my opinion. My biggest critique would be: use punctuation, it would flow so much better if I knew where to stop and start. That's really all, good job otherwise!

Oh my.

This is so relatable to me that I'm literally crying. You've made me cry. In a totally good way, I promise! Sometimes it can be good to cry, and that's what I'm going through at the moment.

First off, beautiful poem you've got here it flows so perfectly, even though the word choice isn't advanced - not that the word choice has to be. you've created perfection with something so simple.

A very good friend of mine committed suicide a little over a month ago. It's been really hard to deal with. Most death is, after all. There's so many things I'm feeling - anger, terrible sadness, hatred, depression - and yet you've wiped it all away with a simple string of words.

Bravo.

Everything I want to say to my friend, and can't because he's gone, you've written up there.

I'll always remember him.

Thanks for posting this

I like how you wrote it it is very cool the way it flows but you could have made it a little longer so keep up the good work. you could also get a couple ideas from a online poetry website i knew one but i don't remember the name of it sorry but it is very good work i like the wording its kind of sad but it is still good so keep it up and write some books possibly and you would be successful with writing some short stories I would read some of your works.but again keep up the good work