Summerless

I haven't read chapter one or two but I can tell you the basics I think you should fix, and I see mizz-iceberg already pointed some errors out. She felt ...

I agree with Suzanne. You definitely need more punctuation and you need to captivate your reader. All of this is telling, but if you decide you're going to tell us ...

Silence . That’s what you evoke in me You’re strong and kind Yet I hide from you There needs to be some sort of punctuation mark after "silence." This follows ...

I disagree with Vernon. I liked the repetition but you should leave the stanzas be after you described the dance with the seasons. Keep the first four and the last ...

I agree with Nikiller. mizz-iceberg broke everything down nicely. I also have to say that you should show more than you tell. You tell us everything in this piece and ...

I agree with Vernon. You should put some punctuation. Read your poem aloud and find where you should add a period or a comma. It's a nice first try. I ...

I agree with Vernon. The last two stanzas need more work. The passage to death, is always unclear And it’s sad to know, that you’re never here It’s hard to ...

I could paint my lips red, would you notice me then? That part is my favorite. The question fits a possible action the narrator could do. What I like most ...

Welcome to Young Writers Society! As for the poem, it was well written. We both know the feeling - Like, lust, love: life. I like the alliteration: like, lust, love, ...

I like the repeated line, "Through tinted glass." I w atch this w retched w orld go round. Nice alliteration . It helps make the poem flow. Through tinted glass,

I agree with lex. You added a lot of expression into your poem. A few things, though. Eyes sparkle, The "sparkle" part sound too corny. Please don't take this so ...

it held me hostage for to o long "to" should be "too" because it is used in that line to mean "very." You should capitalize your "I"s but if you ...

I agree with mizz-iceberg and Vernon. Like Vernon said, I think you need to develop your ideas more. You're telling us all these lines that don't mean much because people ...

So when you see me Around your street Stop And smile. I love that part! This is a good topic you wrote about and the sad thing is a lot ...

You say I don't want to see you anymore That should have quotations over the dialogue so it should be something like... You say , " I don't want to ...