Young Writers Society

Silence.
That’s what you evoke in me
You’re strong and kind
Yet I hide from you

Clueless
For all your skills I wish you’d see
The shy girl watching from a distance
Yearning to know you

I'm in agreement with everyone else here, although I do really like the concept of describing different emotional dispositions.

Greatly lacking is a use of imagery: 'clueless' is perhaps the only stanza which contains an attempt at inserting some. Imagery will help the poem to be better understood by the reader and will convey your message that much better.

Remember, poetry is all about being expressive and the use of bold images is the best way to do this.

Good luck.

You've got good emotions here but the descriptions are rather bland. Your words feel more like definitions. Thrill me, make it bold. Use more imagery, include your reader. I'm going through the same problem with a poem of mine.

Another way you can make this more realistic if by examples or 'scenes'.

Loving
I’ve seen the way you treat your friends
The kindness that you show them
Could you be that way with me?

Show us his kindness, don't tell us about it. Like in this stanza you did it pretty well:

Clueless
For all your skills I wish you’d see
The shy girl watching from a distance
Yearning to know you

You showed us the MC watching him from a distance. That made it more effective.
I hope this helps.

Overall I liked the poem. I can't say it was original nor creative but it has the potential to be.

Hmm, I agree with Twin this is too bland for some of the ideas, also the lack of punctuation irks me. The idea is nothing new you tell us these emotions but don't let us feel them. It's also a rather 'poor me' poem and navelgazing you just tell us all this, almost whining.

Overall: Take two or three ideas remember you want the reader to feel the pain or whatever and just show don't tell. Hope this helps.

Good luck
VSN

I liked some of your ideas here, probably the ones under "silence", "cheerful", and "wise" the most. However, you delivered them a little blandly. They would be more striking if you had some fresh description of the experiences/feelings.

Also, you didn't use much punctuation, except for question marks. It may be just me, but I usually don't like to read direct questions in a poem--or any narration, really. I think you could incorporate the sense of wondering without directly asking the questions at the reader.

Overall, not bad. Keep it up!