User avatar

Squirrel

  • Poetry » Other, General Re: Tears of War

    I love this poem. There is only one suggestion I want to make, "America now, America then, and forever, again." What if you split this line up. It would rhyme ...

    Feb 5, 2016
  • Poetry » Realistic, General Re: String of Dark Realization

    O.k I would give you some constructive criticism but the truth is, I don't have any! At first I was kind of confused because the lines had no real format, ...

    Feb 5, 2016
  • Poetry » Historical Fiction, Dramatic Re: The Memory

    Wow this is really good I like this. The one thing I want to point out though is, " A trunk a chest" what if you added a comma between ...

    Feb 5, 2016
  • Other » Realistic, Other Re: 05/06/2015

    I like this. I know from experience that mental illness and self harm is hard to deal with. This kind of brings me relief to know that someone else is ...

    Feb 4, 2016
  • Poetry » Realistic, Narrative Re: Suffering Before Healing

    I love this poem. You did a very good job. I like how you described the things people feel when life isn't going so great for them. The inspirational part ...

    Feb 4, 2016
  • Short Story » General, General Re: The New Life Program

    O.k I like this but I want to say a few things, 1. In the ninth paragraph you said Sophie was surprised at what was parked up front, you didn't ...

    Feb 4, 2016
  • Poetry » General, General Re: Mother Doesn't Want Me To Swim

    I like this but it is slightly confusing. The last 2 stanzas was slightly confusing. Maybe you could add a little more to explain the poem? This is just a ...

    Feb 4, 2016
  • Poetry » Realistic, Other Re: I Miss You

    I think this is pretty good for a 5 minute quick poem. I want to say a few suggestions though: 1. For one stanza you only have one line. I ...

    Feb 4, 2016
  • Poetry » Realistic, Humor Re: Ten Steps of Wow Did I Really Just Do That?

    Ok I like this but there are some things I want to say: 1. It seems like more of a "How-To" than a poem. Maybe try to add some more ...

    Feb 4, 2016
  • Poetry » General, General Re: The Color of Regret

    I like this poem it is really good. But, I want to give a few suggestions: 1. "But time turns all memories gray" I think this line would be better ...

    Jan 28, 2016
  • Poetry » Fantasy, General Re: The Little Mermaid

    Wow you did a good job. I like the rhyme scheme. It really makes the poem flow. You did a good job separating the stanzas. The only thing that needs ...

    Jan 25, 2016
  • Poetry » Romantic, Realistic Re: Infuriating

    You did a great job but I am going to give a few suggestions 1."Why can't we do away with them" Try putting a question mark at the end of ...

    Jan 25, 2016
  • Poetry » Realistic, General Re: Societys Image Of Me

    O.k I like this quite a bit but I am going to give you some suggestions: 1. for some would rather not, others say why not, what if you tried ...

    Jan 22, 2016
  • Poetry » Dramatic, General Re: And isn't that unfair

    Nicely done. This poem was fantastic. I do have a question though. For the beginning of each line you have some letters capitalized and some not, was that on purpose? ...

    Jan 22, 2016


"You know, sometimes all you need is twenty seconds of just embarrassing bravery. And I promise you, something great will come of it."
— We Bought A Zoo