Sam

THEY'RE GETTING READY TO FIGHT A BATTLE, DURNIT! James is not going to be passively telling jokes and entertaining the ensigns!!! that is all I have to say. or not.. ...

I do. :wink: I have the Continental army down and pat (coz they're easy, they didn't wear uniforms or decoration or anything) but this story has essentially nothing to do ...

YAY! I thought it was a little short for what it was though. It went by far too quickly, and I had no idea what was going on half the ...

If you have not read The Year of the Hangman...then you definitely need to. lol. There's this part in it where the main character (who is british) is cussing at ...

OK, this made me laugh. In a good way, of course. NONSENSE!!! muahahahaha, that is never going to get old. “Today is the day we start the French running with ...

IOWA????? WHAT THE FREAK ARE YOU PUTTING IT IN IOWA FOR??? ah, I'm biased because I'm Nebraskan. Har dee har har. And, this was great. Loved the details, the stereotypical ...

Much much much better. I just think in one part you need to start a new paragraph, the one where's he's like "i must be going' and then he's outside...that ...

To me, it just kind of drifted off into space. It kind of felt like I was making myself finish the poem, too, which is not good, either. Part of ...

This isn't the greatest poem ever written, but we can live with that, right? "We come from two different places I from the east You from the west" Redundancy central. ...

At the beginning, it's kinda...lame. Towards the middle and end, however, the writing gets stronger. My only thing, it is very confusing when you have dialogue, because you never tell ...

I just realized this now...but wouldn't they have an alcohol ration? Unless they are stationed in a town or something, these soldiers probably would not be allowed enough alcohol to ...

Thanks, Jack, but I usually just post them separately because otherwise it's hard for new readers to crit the first chapter or something. :D and this was supposed to feel ...

For me, I thought this was a really important section, yet you didn't put enough emphasis on it. Make it more like a revelation, and add a lot more details. ...

As of yet, I'm not really sure, because we haven't been given a true taste of the story, just the fact that she's married to this guy we don't really ...

I LOOOOOOVE IT!!!! my only thing would be, what time frame are we looking at? Because she is saying she noticed how tan he was, and you don't really let ...