Published April 1, 2005
Wow thats good! Doesnt make sense at all! I will go and read from the beginning! Stupid grin!
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141,411 Literary Works • 674,392 Reviews
Thanks, Jack, but I usually just post them separately because otherwise it's hard for new readers to crit the first chapter or something.
and this was supposed to feel rushed...but not very rushed, like you pointed out. partly that's because i am planning to go over that later, but I'll fix it up nonetheless.
This is the beginning I beileve:
forum/viewtopic.php?t=1322&highlight=
I think we need more description in this bit, you seem to skim over it rather quickly.
Actually you could say that for most of it. It seems a little rushed.
Anyway, I need to find the start of this. It's hard when people start a new topic for each new insert, it'd be more useful if you just put it in the same topic!
This is soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo incredibly extrodanarily good!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I love it!!!!! you are out of your writing block, Sam! woohoo!!!!!! but it was a tinsy bit confusing, just the first part. I know in the second part its from Luke's point of view but i'm not sure from who's point of view the beginning was from. Liberty? if it was Liberty I think you should say like you did on that one part you sent me on AIM. But this was great. Not boring at all. Can't wait for more
LOL!
hee...