Rydia

Lol. Oh yes, the second is much better. Hehe. I'm only joking, it wasn't that bad Adam and no poem deserves to be deleted and replaced by a few lines. ...

Is this better? Who wants to save a life? Amongst dirty roads and dusty atmosphere, a woman exhales, inhales, deeper, slower, her blood trails across her legs, the river runs ...

Love the ending! Very humorous and an excellent contrast to the mature, complex vocabulary of the rest. I think the short, brief lines work really well for this and basically ...

Must agree that the repetition began to get a little... well repetitive. Other than that though it wasn't bad. The message was conveyed well and your imagery and vocabulary were ...

This didn't seem all that different from the last but then I suppose my memory of the first one has begun to fade.

No problem. Me gusta mucho! Bien trabajo, Heather xx

This was a little strange. First off, why does the guy get to go to heaven?!?!? I think that's a rather justified question given the context of the poem.Other than ...

Hi there. I liked this when you posted that first part on Necropolis and now that I've seen the whole story it's even better. Your characters are believable and there's ...

An interesting start. I'd have liked it to be longer and to introduce your main character more but I suppose that shall be done in the next part...

I like Ambrose a lot and I think you need to write another so that there isn't such a huge gap between this part and the other. The characters are ...

Very nice little story here and to be honest, I would have flipped that switch too so good for Dugger.

Aww, this one's very sad. It's well written, your spelling and grammar are accurate and the format compliments your subect. Basically I liked it though your imagery could have been ...

Now that I look back at it, it makes sense but for some reason when I read it, I thought it was someone who had lost their family in a ...

Awww. That's a real sweet poem. Makes me think about my sister and I. No bond is stronger! This poem fulfills its' purpose just fine as it is.

I think Snoink covered this pretty well but I'd like to add that you switch tense and perspective a lot. That's fine if you have a reason for it but ...