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Phoebe

  • Poetry » Other, General Re: Gorgon

    I have to say, I'm not incredibly fond of the use of brackets. What was the point? Was it supposed to add emphasis? If so, why are those particular words--incredibly ...

    Jan 6, 2008
  • Poetry » Other, General Re: To Love...

    Since you asked for assistance, let's dissect this line by line, yes? To love... As this is your title, it does not need to be repeated; that just bogs it ...

    Jan 6, 2008
  • Poetry » Dramatic, General Re: Rejoice.

    I can't say I particularly liked this, order; it has something of the feel of a hymn to me, and while the music may be moving to some, the poetry ...

    Jan 6, 2008
  • Poetry » Dramatic, General Re: El Diablo

    I have to say, I don't hate it for the reasons I think you feared--but truly, I cannot say I like it at all. The repetition is mind-numbing, and while ...

    Jan 6, 2008
  • Poetry » Other, General Re: Weirdo

    It seems bubbles-my-dear has taken all my points, right out from under me--and before I could give them, too! Showing is always the best way to go about this, in ...

    Jan 6, 2008
  • Poetry » Other, General Re: Just die

    While I agree with Snoink about the two lines that are, as she mentioned, based primarily on cliche (usually, though, note, not always, something to avoid), I'll admit that I'm ...

    Jan 6, 2008
  • Poetry » Other, General Re: Midnight

    Just so you know, you have misspelled words--"untill," "didnlt," and various times, "i." When this site has a spell-check built into it, this is unacceptable. I refuse to take you ...

    Jan 6, 2008
  • Poetry » Other, General Re: I am a rose not a thorn

    Yes. Um. Reviewing your own stuff? You don't rock. That's cheating. And double-posting is bad etiquette. Sort of like putting your elbows on the cyber-table when your parents' boss is ...

    Jan 6, 2008
  • Poetry » Dramatic, General Re: Mondays End In Coffeshops

    Colleen kindly pointed out the typo in the title; I'll not harp on it, though it is poor show. ^~ As far as this poem goes, I would rate the ...

    Jan 6, 2008
  • Poetry » Dramatic, General Re: Marionette

    I like the idea of destructive love, but I agree with Cade; the use of the marionette is rather cliche at this point. Also, please remember this: punctuation is your ...

    Jan 6, 2008
  • Poetry » Dramatic, General Re: Young Love

    What on earth did line breaks do to you to deserve such mistreatment? Line breaks in poetry are often used to create drama, yes? A sense of either urgency or ...

    Jan 6, 2008
  • Poetry » Dramatic, General Re: Spider

    I have to side with Suzanne; the overuse of ellipses has done nothing but drown this poem in what I hope is a wrongly-conveyed sense of its own superiority. Ellipses ...

    Jan 6, 2008
  • Poetry » Dramatic, General Re: Mistakes

    Disregard the above reviews. They're far too kind. This is not poetry; it is a banal observation, one that has been made far too many times before. Please check out ...

    Dec 28, 2007
  • Poetry » Dramatic, General Re: The Fatal Poem!

    As Simon Cowell might say: "Awful. Truly awful." Not only is the subject matter done to death, but your grasp of poetics is, as mentioned above, painfully lacking. Why did ...

    Dec 25, 2007
  • Script » General, General Re: Failure To Comply (script)

    Actually, I rather like the bluntness--it's layered, is it not? Because while John seems to be the compliant roommate, he too has a slip in his book with a name ...

    Dec 23, 2007


Anne felt that life was really not worth living without puffed sleeves.
— L. M. Montgomery, Anne of Green Gables