MiRaCLeS

Hi there! You have a beautiful piece of writing so far. Honestly. I really like your writing style, it flowed really well and it was pleasing to read. I liked ...

Hi there! First thing I'd like to mention is your sentence strucutre. From the very beginning, I can tell that there's something wrong with it. He fumbled limply for the ...

Hi! Now, I haven't read the previous chapters, so I'm going to review this chapter all by itself. The first thing that I noticed was that the dialogue sounds a ...

Hi there! Okay, so, I really like this world that you have built in this story here. I think that you have written about it really well. So well done ...

Hi! Now one of the first thing that caught my attention was this line. I’m not one of those famous kids who, I don’t know, cheated on my ‘baby’ I'm ...

Hi there! What you have so far is pretty good. However, there is some small details, bits and bobs that you could work on. One of them is cutting out ...

'Hi there! So you seem to have a pretty good start here. I liked your descriptive language and how you described the beatufy of the wolves. There are, however, a ...

Hi there! To start off with I absolutely loved your epilogue. Especially your very first sentence. It was intriguing and I was instantly fascinated with the story. Onto the other ...

Hey there! I think that what you have so far is pretty cool. I really liked your opening sentence. It was really intriguing and it drew me in. So, well ...

Hi! MiRaCLeS back for a review! I haven't read chapter three though. Sorry about that. To start of with, I'll just nitpick the story and look for anything that doesn't ...

Hey there! It seems to me that you have the basic outline of the story down. So that's good. However, I think that you can work on the little details ...

Hey there! So, I'll start of with saying that this is a great story, you had a little bit of humour (with the Living Darell and Dead Darell thing). I ...

Hi! Well, to start off with, your punctuation and spacing was very good. Except for the first few parts where the spacing is tad irregular. But it straightens out eventually. ...

Hey there! I haven't actually read chapter 1. So I won't know any background story and review it just as it is. I hope you don't mind. Sorry if I ...

Hey there! I agree with the DearValentine in that lengthening this story woudl be beneficial. I think at the moment, you've just given us a snipet of this story. You ...