LosPresidentes

Okay, So first things first, there is such a thing as being "too descriptive" It really robs from the flow of the read and being able to relate and imagine. ...

A lot of "like terms" and comparisons in a very compassionate manner Although the sudden change of segment size, really interrupted the readability on my part. We were Kings, quickly ...

Okay, for something so light, and such a dark title, that is... Fantastic! :D I can't really relate to the title, but! It's very playful, yet retains a dark premise, ...

Oh wow, this is very simplistic, yet very complex, The bottom half of it chunks up a bit, like you were just forcing it. I don't want to become too ...

101% Love this piece, Good job fortis! Alrighty, first nitpick is no capitalization; Second nitpick, I can't find anything else wrong with the piece. The work has a lot of ...

Alright, I'm having a hard time reading this without giggling, so A+ for humor I don't see many nitpicks either, other than capitalization of letters. You go on and off ...

Very vivid, bravo! Descriptive, prudent, and alot of simple metaphors which are a nice touch. [quote=]the foreign rocks wrapped in the dappled moonlight descend to the valleys of swaying grass ...

Oh my gosh, Meshugenah, that's wonderfully drab in a good way. It says so much and conveys so much meaning. Although there isn't much for metaphor for my deciphering. A ...

Other than the format issue, this is a delight to read =3 Very down to earth, and relates to a very prominent, basic question a lot of people ask. It ...

ALRIGHT! The rhyming is flawless, and the message very convoluted and poetic. It kept me reading, and enthralled thru-ought the whole piece. =3 Alright, there are a few tid bits ...

Well as stated previously, language. But this is very, very, dark. Also very direct, and doesn't leave the reader with anything to grasp for or imagine. =/ I'm not trying ...

Well its an seems to be a self portrait in the form of informal Essay. The imagery is pleasant to read, though not in context. The grammar is decent. The ...

Before I say anything ... What happened? What— What's with this robe? What is— A crown? Am I—? I am—! What the fuc— Wait. I am the Queen now. Composure. ...

A good start, with nice spacing and stanza set up, however the format is one long run-on sentence for each stanza. The wave is torn and shorn, With a wave ...

Alright time for the teardown. It has good flow, and a nice-not-so-nice message. two years later I'm more worn than ever since I dug myself from the rut telling myself ...