Liz

Generally nice to read, with a good premise, but it does require a bit of fixing up! Your rhyme is alright, but I found some of the lines repetitive. This ...

Nice, vivid, intense. Almost to the point of being overwhelming. I think the main problem with this is, as biancarayne pointed out, much of your word-choice bogs the poem down. ...

Definitely needs more empathy, and the tone of the last line is lost. I don't think it has anything to do with length, but I think the rest of your ...

I love the atmosphere you've created here. I'd suggest making it more effective by being more original with your word choice. Saying the sun is bright and the trees are ...

This sort of topic can be done well, but Miyaviloves and Broken Wings suggest, it's tough. If you really feel what you're writing about, then you can probably write about ...

I won't be as harsh as whence. :). This had its strong points. I think it has potential, and I enjoyed some of your lines and word choice. I would ...

This was very nice. Original with a good driving progression. I would suggest clearing up some of your punctuation to help the flow and the rhythm as well as make ...

I did like this, I found it an interesting subject if difficult to grasp at times. I agree with Claudette, the elipses were unneccessary. Use word choice to get across ...

Pretty good. Original idea, and you used an interesting, somewhat narrative tone. There are some inconsistencies I'd fix up. You need to make it clear whose perspective you're writing from ...

Well, I have to tell you I've spent the last couple of days reading this novel on and off. And it has impressed me throughout. You really know how to ...

Quite nice. I like your tone, and you kept it consistent throughout the whole piece. Very strong concept too. I think you could reconsider your linebreaks to make it stronger. ...

Very nice. I'm glad you've used your capitalisation effectively in this piece; it makes all the difference. Just some small things like spelling you need to fix up, eg: Going ...

I liked this. It seemed sort of monotonous, and it read like a letter or something. Maybe you want to try some more rhythm or imagery? I also think you ...

I like this, but I don't know why you capitalise the first letter of every word, it makes it difficult to read. It also seemed sort of disjointed. Many of ...

Nice idea, although I think it lacks power. The rhyming is okay, but sometimes it gets a little forced. It definitely flows well. It's probably nice as it is, but ...