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Re: the things you share
Dang lol nice. The whole sharing the love you gave them is a really great metaphor. The flow is easy to read and the ideas relatable. I love the mirrored ...
Feb 3, 2021 -
Re: Sauce-y
The rhythm could use some finagling. I like how you nearly make the craving desperate, with thin air and dire heat, but smack us with bathos at the end. And ...
Jan 31, 2021 -
Re: The mystery of love
Note: This review has been deleted
Jan 31, 2021
This has a beautiful flavor. It reminds me of CS Lewis' best approximation of Arabic storytelling in A Horse and His Boy. Your English is still a little hard to ... -
Re: Arizona, Chap 1.
This is good stuff. The opening paragraph seems a little out of place. The tone sinks then quickly fixes to a peculiar grimness. Maybe if it was more relevant it ...
Jan 10, 2021 -
Re: The LGBT+ community from a Christain's prespective.
This is a good analysis. President Russell M. Nelson gave a speech, I don’t remember exactly what he said. Basically, God ordained marriage between a man and a woman, and ...
Jan 10, 2021 -
Re: Picture of the Unicorn
Powerful, heartbreaking. Who are you? I’m in love with a Morgan and I feel the same exact way. Better not be the same girl, cause then I’ll have little better ...
Jan 9, 2021 -
Re: You'd Think It Was The Fourth Of July
It’s great wherever I can understand what you’re saying. Aside from grammar issues, which only damage a paragraph or so worth, this writing is beyond phenomenal! I swear, I could ...
Jan 9, 2021 -
Re: Forever
Dang, nice and simple. I love how you let us interpret the first two stanzas. I love your rhythm, how you flow from two main ideas that echo each other’s ...
Jan 9, 2021 -
Re: stoned
“everything inside me was dull but the world around me was bright and beautiful” I couldn’t have said it better. Same goes for, “I popped on my contacts, my eyes ...
Dec 28, 2020 -
Re: Unnamed
These are all the words I love to hear put in a row and connected seamlessly. Almost. I agree with starlitmind about the debonair, it breaks the flow, but not ...
Dec 27, 2020 -
Re: The Day that Man Won (Final Part)
This is beautiful. I love how despite the epic events surrounding the characters, the focus is still on their emotions. This is a great chunk of a story worth reading, ...
Dec 27, 2020 -
Re: Empty Melodies
I know this feeling, when you try to write from the heart, but nothing comes out. The worst part is, it always feels like there’s nothing you can do about ...
Dec 27, 2020 -
Re: No Internet
Just write scripts for movies already lol This is a very quirky, funny poem because you take real emotions and satirize them by stating and appealing to the opinion we ...
Dec 22, 2020 -
Re: Why Is it a coincidence?
Dang, I wish I could relate better to this, but again, this is phenomenal writing because it is so real and plain. You invoked emotion over something I have never ...
Dec 22, 2020 -
Re: I don't remember!!!
You got me in the feels. This is so real and powerful. I wonder how much experience you have with memory loss? It takes on the pseudo-realistic style of poets ...
Dec 22, 2020
