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I don't remember!!!

by DreamyAlice


( The girl who is writing this poem forgets everything after she wakes up in the morning she just remembers that she does forget everything.)


No matter what I do or say,
I will forget it anyway.


Do you know how it feels
When you wake up and remember nothing?
Do you know how it feels,
When everyday is a new beginning?


It's frustrating
to start a day,
with the broken pieces
of yesterday.


No matter what I do or say,
I will forget it anyway.


“Memories are timeless treasures of the heart,”
people say
But I don’t have the right 
to have that treasure
and stay with it forever.




Every night I sleep,I die
Every morning I am reborn from deep inside.


Fail to recall my
Name
Family
Friends and their useless tips
To remember things.


Its unbelievable
That the happy memories I had yesterday
Are no more than a past to me.
That the special relationships I had yesterday
Become stranger everyday


No matter what I do or say
I will forget it anyway


I am not trusted as well
Because sometimes
The only one who can trust you
Is yourself


And I have faith in myself,
That one day I won’t need any help
Of those notes or anything else
To remember my loved ones




They have done for me enough
I don’t want to forget their love
Everyday when I woke up………






Sorry…..what was I writing
Oh its already morning
Like I said


No matter what I do or say
I will forget it anyway


Is this a review?


  

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Mon Jun 12, 2023 3:32 pm
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AkuRashomon wrote a review...



Hey there ALICE! This is Ina aka loveissourgrapes back again to review/comment on your wonderful poems that have been in the literary spotlight for days! This poem is sad though like really sad, but beautiful. Suits the aesthetic of the font style that you have shown the poem in. Anyways, enough blah blah, let's review!

First impressions. I found the lines, "No matter what I do or say, I will forget it anyway". But I don't know if it's just me or it's just the way you write it. Does the girl writing this poem have amnesia? In the day, she has all those good friends and family and good advice and memories they give her. But then she wakes up and feels reborn again. It is aad that she never got to remember those things, they might tell her again and again but she won't remember it anyways.

It may be sad that she forgets all those happy things and happenings but at least, she gets to forget the sad things. It is good how you described her emotions and how she feels about not remembering things. There are a few grammatical and spelling errors like "its" in the line, "Oh it's already morning". The word, "its" is possessive, and the word "it's" means it is. In the line that I have mentioned will be better if you say "it's".

Overall, it is good. Keep on writing! You are a good one. Have a good day/night!




DreamyAlice says...


Thanks Ina! Yah I used to do lots of mistakes in my past writings with 'ite' and 'it's'. Gotta edit that! Thanks for the review again<3



AkuRashomon says...


You're welcome!



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Sun Jun 11, 2023 6:21 pm
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OrabellaAvenue wrote a review...



There's already a million reviews here but I gotta review this too! It's just too lovely to not comment on.

I love this situation; it's so imaginative and you portrayed the character's feelings very well. I can't imagine being in their shoes. Forgetting everything you ever learned every single day? That'd be a nightmare. How would your life work? Would you just have hundreds of thousands of notes that you need to read each day? And what about school?

Great job on this! Keep writing!

Image




DreamyAlice says...


Thanks for the review<3



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Sun Jun 11, 2023 4:44 pm
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Nini wrote a review...



The way you've portrayed this poetry in that narrating style, I really loved it. It is said that time's the tragic, healer for some ,killer for other. Those feeling of numbness , when you get to start off with the broken pieces of yesterday, all those sweet memories of yesterday seem to be fading at once, relations being sour and the regrets at last. All to say is "this was epic" and heartwarming. every detail and paragh upcoming passing every line has it's own story to tell, which made me want to read this over again to catch on the emotions associated with it. The ending you chose for this is truly the best thing you decided to go with, you really deserve a raise for this >> your works are great, keep going!




DreamyAlice says...


Thanksss Nini for thisss



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Sun Dec 27, 2020 6:41 pm
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yoshi wrote a review...



REQUESTED POEM REVIEW COMING UP!!!!!

Hi, Alice! So since you requested this review . . . I'll review it!

(Although, this isn't in the Green Room anymore so maybe that's why I never saw it ;-;)

Grammatical

No matter what I do or say,
I will forget it anyway.


Do you know how it feels
When you wake up and remember nothing?
Do you know how it feels,
When everyday is a new beginning?


I think it would be better if you put "I'll" instead of "I will". The "I will" is a bit clunky and unneeded.

If you want a comma after "Feels", then you should put it, but if you don't, then you shouldn't. The first "Feels" had a comma, but the second didn't. Consistency is important in poems. But don't worry-- the comma issue is something most people don't notice.

Now, I think you should probably proofread your work before you post, since I've noticed some punctuation spots here. For example, after "People say", there should be a period.

Technical

Now, pushing away the Grammar stuff, your rhyming and rhythm is excellent. There aren't many people who write in rhymes and rhythms anymore, so it's good to see that people like me still exist! :D

It's frustrating
to start a day,
with the broken pieces
of yesterday.


This is very nice-- My favorite stanza.

Plot

Okay, so this poem is basically about a girl who forgets stuff every morning? Is that a literal or abstract theme. You could work better with description to show the reader what you mean.

I think the elaboration is fine, so no problem there.

Anyways, hope you were satisfied with this review!

Bon Voyage!

-y0sH!




DreamyAlice says...


Thanks for the review



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Tue Dec 22, 2020 8:56 pm
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LilPWilly wrote a review...



You got me in the feels. This is so real and powerful. I wonder how much experience you have with memory loss? It takes on the pseudo-realistic style of poets like Shel Silverstein, but the emotion is so potent that I much prefer this to his poems. The rhyme scheme is loose and lends weight to impactful lines. I can’t imagine how heartbreaking it would be to lose your memory daily. I love how your focus is really on the only things that matter, meaning the people she loves. It’s phenomenal that you wrote this as a 12 year old, but maybe I say that because I was slow to become emotionally conscious. Keep doing what you’re doing! I’ll look out for your writing in the future.




DreamyAlice says...


Thank you so much for this wonderful review



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Tue Dec 22, 2020 1:59 am
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Cici wrote a review...



Hi, ImaginativeAlice!

I did enjoy reading this! Such a cool concept, but I wonder if forgetting everything might be a good thing too? Then, she wouldn't be weighed down by her past thoughts and memories and would wake up free. But, yes, I understand that it must be frustrating. Without her memories, who is she anyway? Your poem brings up a great point that being able to remember things is something to be grateful for.

Just a few things that I want to point out. They're not huge deals.

Do I don’t have the right

Maybe replace the "do" with "but."

That one day I won’t need any help
Of those notes or anything else

Maybe "help from those notes."

I am not trusted as well
Because sometimes
The only one who can trust you
Is yourself

I'm not sure I understand. How could she trust herself if she forgets everything the next day?

Pretty sure that's all! This was super interesting.




DreamyAlice says...


As I have stated above in the bracket she knows that she does forget things so she trust herself that she will one day be able to remember everything
And thanks for the review very much



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Mon Dec 21, 2020 8:21 pm
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EsmerayaRose says...



I really like this concept. What you did was really wonderful. I love how you started the poem and how you ended. This was really Delightful.




DreamyAlice says...


Thanks for the review



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Mon Dec 21, 2020 5:00 pm
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NastyMajesty says...



I’ll leave a review in a little bit lemme just go eat breakfast lol



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NastyMajesty says...


OOPS OKAY IMMA REVIEW IT NOW



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Mon Dec 21, 2020 3:40 pm
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AndyS6 wrote a review...



I really like the concept behind this; very unique and different. Food for thought; if she forgets everything every morning she would forget that she does forget. Just give it a thought. I like how you wrote it. Provokes deeper reflection on how important our memories truly are and how often we take it for granted the memories we have. I cannot imagine losing my memories and thoughts. If that was the case I would lose everything.




DreamyAlice says...


Thank you for the review




There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside of you.
— Maya Angelou