KatGirl

Lol.. my computer has broken so many times! I can relate. What about the time when my little brother hacked onto you? Maybe you should leave the word onto out. ...

This had many grammar mistakes. I'm going to be a straightforward critic here and say it was very dull and.. long. There was capitals in places not needed, lots of ...

Woah.. nice job. I could practically imagine everything you said in my head. The beginning description was very vivid. However, I found only a couple of grammar mistakes! Besides that, ...

i cheesed back gratefully. Do you mean grinning back or something? I also noticed that in some parts of the poem there was no grammar at all, and than it ...

I'd like to critique this: I'm not trying to be mean on this. I felt that this story was too fast paced. She goes into a closet thinking these agents ...

This story seems rushed to me. You fit way too much in such a short chapter. The first 1 and 1/2 paragraphs were her getting ready. I suggest dragging it ...

"under my breast" That part was a little weird (to me personally) I prefer the word chest, but honestly I bet other people aren't nitpicky about this. "the near defening ...

This was very complicated to figure out. I could understand that the poem is explaining of a slave chained by somebody's hand or something ..? (And I think trying to ...

I didn't even know thrice was a word before I read this. I wasn't hooked in by the first couple sentences; perhaps you could switch it up a bit. "Whatever ...

“Hi, i´m Gail Hawkins and I play guitar for a band called The Addicts.” Right now, I´m sitting on a couch in some concert hall in new York about to ...

I'm officially confused. Just what..? I thought the boy was actually a 5 year old because he was acting like one in your story and I thought the girl was ...

This is too depressing for me. It seems like most of the songs on the radio are depressing nowadays. "Molding me anew like clay" I don't understand this line very ...

The dialogue for the beginning: It annoyed me a little. It was way too close together, and I think you should've added something in the middle like how Kevin was ...

" i pity you. " Just a little mistake with capitalization here. " mental " I wouldn't put that in the poem; it's still offensive or considered a bad term, ...

(I hate pokemon but I'm going to review this anyway lol) "lucario's ears were splattered across the wall. and just the room was like a lucario had a nuke explode ...