Trust

Happy Review Day!

I think you could develop this piece into a poem, although the form you chose works well too.

Grammar/Spelling:
There are some grammar issues that I think were mostly pointed out but for a reminder these were the ones I saw

2nd sentence "i" should be capitalized in "i pity you"

3rd stanza/section

"If have enough faith in someone for Trust, then you are easily swayed by what they say or ask you to do; Am I wrong? Do you not doubt the people you trust sometimes? Not even for a little bit?"

has a lot of issues.
you need a pronoun between "If" and "have enough faith", and this section doesn't actually make sense. "Not even for a little bit?" is also not a question. Please change the phrasing for clarity.

In this phrase: "I feel no paigs" I think you meant "pangs" or "pains".

I think your capitalization choices are fine, they don't add much but they make the piece consistent and look clean, also nice choice to continually capitalize "Trust".

Other phrasing issues:
You word choice is not very diverse in this piece, but it makes the piece very consistent and also gives a feeling of repetition.

You overuse the words "something" and "thing" in this piece. They are non-descriptive "junk" words, that should be eliminated whenever possible especially in poetry like pieces. They are junk words because they make the tone so much less formal, they're distracting, and they do not add any meaning.

I would suggest re-thinking what you want the tone of this piece to be and then edit your word choice to match accordingly. The content seems like the tone would be well written formally because you're being like an essayist describing your inner thoughts in a somewhat philosophical way, but you throw in words that kill this tone and honestly take away the authority of your work. Some words I would consider changing unless you change the entire piece to a more casual tone are "bugs me" and "weird".

Overall there were many spots I also felt you had redundant phrasing or were overly wordy without actually adding extra meaning with the extra words.

For example: "Do not let them feel like they cannot Trust anyone, because they are different in any way." could be shortened to "Do not let them feel they cannot Trust just because they are different." the words/phrases "like" and "in any way" do not add anything to the sentence and are distracting. You do this similarly in other places as well. It would be less of an issue if you wrote it as a straight prose form essay but because you adopted the poetry formatting this is noticeable.

I'm a huge critic of the use of ellipses because to me it ruins the flow of a poem and they are often incorrectly used. So I would strongly suggest taking them out in this phrase :

"But if you are able to find that one person that you can truly Trust, then…"

you could take out the word "then" here as well.


Overall:
I felt like there was a great deal of wordiness and redundancy that was unneeded and took away from this piece, I would suggest in this piece and in future pieces (especially if they are formatted like a poem) you should go through each line/sentence and see if you can be more concise and make sure each word (yes, every word) actually adds meaning to the piece as a whole. Also a great help is just reading the piece out loud before you post, this normally catches awkward phrasing and grammar issues. When you can get rid of these issues your readers will be able to focus more on the meaning of your piece and also will trust your authority as a writer more.

Your message is a good one, although even this could be a little more concise because you sort of fluctuate between different meanings and then go for the "be a friend" commission at the end. Overall, your ideas are simply worded and get across well without being "preachy" or boring. It was also an enjoyable piece to read.

Good luck in future works,

Alliyah