Kamas

Hi there, I guess this is solid. You created a nicely linked poem, but the concept is overused as almost all romance themes are. But there isn't much to do ...

Hi there, well as said before. This has the typical image, 'oh no one cares, let me just slit my wrists, see what happens.' If your picture was a depressed ...

Hi Howler. Amy is right, stop asking questions. Asking a question in a poem is okay moderately, but if each stanza has/is a question, the reader has to stop. It ...

Hi Fixed, Thought I'd drop a review while I'm at it. I'm tired and not in the greatest mood, so I warn you ahead of time. A poem about relationships/cheating? ...

Hi there. I find your writing has a lot of potential Oza (if you don't mind me calling you that.) I like the knitting of the words and how you ...

This is well done on a one-dimensional state. Otherwise these are just hollow lines, nothing but empty space behind them. The only thing that catches your reader is the rhyme ...

Hi there, I definitely second Amy that 'holocaust' is an extremely powerful word. Your lack of follow up on that shows me it was just a flash of genius that ...

Hi Red, As Amy said you've used half rhymes. Which I personally prefer over full rhymes but shhh. Though you use half rhymes it still feels forced when you read ...

Hi there. I would try to do several haikus, rather then just one. Because I personally find these three lines rather boring. There is no story, no language that can ...

Hi Vampy. Well the idea is nice, not exactly what I perceive as 'original' due to all of the creation stories in all sorts of religions. But I suppose you ...

Hi there. Well, I'm a little torn over this poem. The idea is really great but the way you did it was forced (the rhyme). You have a good use ...

Hi there! Well, you've got some decent imagery but it's too basic to really take us anywhere and give us something to shape and mold to our ideal. A rock, ...

Hi there! This was nice, just ugh, I've seen this to many times and it seemed to me it would work more for lyrics rather then poetry. It sort of ...

Hi Lily. The repetition in this poem is awkward and annoying. It's much too forced for the poem to breath and live. You've throttled your conventional idea with awkward, unflowing ...

Oh dear Forest. This is terribly generic (in a different way then the others think) and by no means matches up to your other poems. The lines are threadbare and ...