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Juniper

  • Poetry » Dramatic, General Re: Eulogy

    Hey, Eric! I fell in love with this poem. It's truly beautiful! Very simple and easy to appreciate. I love how it maintains its tone until the end. While I ...

    Jan 21, 2010
  • Poetry » Narrative, General Re: The Last Symphony

    Zehra! I haven't read anything of yours in ages. This is pretty! First it is silent, the dust blows over the land in great threads, then she comes and spins ...

    Jan 21, 2010
  • Poetry » Dramatic, General Re: Ugly melodies/Silent songs

    Ammieyaz, It's fabulous to read some of your poetry again! You've improved. :) Did all of the critiques make you want to write more? Silence dominates the song, reminiscent of ...

    Jan 21, 2010
  • Poetry » Dramatic, General Re: Writing in the Rain (My first freeform, please critique)

    Hullo, Hawk! This is cute. The problem, is, though, you should narrate every step like "I pull out my book"; these narrative phrases hold your poem back from reaching its ...

    Jan 21, 2010
  • Poetry » Lyrical, General Re: Broken Wings

    Hallo, Knightley! Have I ever mentioned that I like reading what you write? I mean, I don't know... it's odd. Some people can write stuff that I enjoy reading because ...

    Jan 21, 2010
  • Poetry » Lyrical, General Re: A Part Of Me

    Hullo! I decent start, I believe. I think the theme's a little overused in a sense that love poems are so, so, so common and tend to not give us ...

    Jan 21, 2010
  • Poetry » Lyrical, General Re: Suffering

    Hallo, Lydia! I think this is good. Short, concise, to the point. In that respect, I think it's good! As Angel says, it breathes things that many people know and ...

    Jan 21, 2010
  • Poetry » Lyrical, General Re: My Inspiration

    Hey there, Angel! I agree with Matt; there's a little bit too much punctuation going on here, and it makes this not only difficult to follow, but difficult to appreciate, ...

    Jan 21, 2010
  • Poetry » Other, General Re: The eyes of another person

    Hello! Aside from the structural parts of this poem that may not hit the spot, I think it'd be beneficial to elaborate on what you're saying here. There's not enough ...

    Jan 21, 2010
  • Poetry » Dramatic, General Re: Jules

    Hi, Munchkinizzle, I believe this is a good place to start a poem, but there are things I don't really like about this. To begin, the narrative of it became ...

    Jan 21, 2010
  • Poetry » Narrative, General Re: Bedouin Song

    Hallo, Kammie! Whipping the flame of your curls to capture vagabonds in your tangled thoughts. Flame of your curls is an interesting image. Something about this wording is off kilter, ...

    Jan 21, 2010
  • Poetry » Lyrical, General Re: Something More

    Hullo, there! I think this is a decent place to begin a poem, but in my opinion, it needs some work done. :) To begin, don't place emphasis on words ...

    Jan 21, 2010
  • Poetry » Lyrical, General Re: Sunset in Summer skies

    Hi, Kaywiia! This poem's got potential (lots of it), and I think you need to make it shine. In the summer skies A glow begins to appear The sun is ...

    Jan 21, 2010
  • Poetry » Lyrical, General Re: Little

    Hullo, Ette! Okay, so, I like this poem, because it's simple, and pretty in some ways. Of course, I have my nitpicky things I don't like about it, haha, but ...

    Jan 21, 2010
  • Short Story » General, General Re: Writers block

    Hey, Hope! I don't know that I've ever reviewed you before. At any rate, here this goes. :) This short story is straining against itself, almost as if it's got ...

    Jan 21, 2010


A snowball in the face is surely the perfect beginning to a lasting friendship.
— Markus Zusak, The Book Thief