Incandescence

Trident - I carried a garter snake through the whitewashed town: it would S and flick its thin forked tongue through scaled lips to seduce me. He could not bite. ...

Jig - Best, Brad

CaptinSix, You post here in full knowledge of the type of criticisms given. It is not un-understandable why some may stick to grammar in this case, because there isn't anything ...

bonafide-- Thanks for taking the time to read and respond. "lowing" means to make a sound like a cow, to moo. I don't know; I tend to think of silence ...

bonafide-- This isn’t doing anything for me. It comes across, for the most part, as a collection of tired poetic gimmicks. The parts that aren’t are OK, but they’re not ...

beyond.the.horizon - This is junk. The readers here aren't interested in spending time trying to improve stuff that can't be salvaged. It's simply a rant that belongs in your personal ...

Samar-- Unless this was intended as a joke, it failed. The linebreaks appear to be arbitrary, and when read alound it has a lurching quality, unconnected to sonics or narrative. ...

Hi, carelessaussie13, This poem is decent--it displays an understanding of at least some of the fundamental mechanics of poetry, but it suffers the fate of being swallowed up in purple ...

ANI-- There's not too much to work with here. It reads as if you pulled each stanza from a Hallmark card and vomitted it up on a Word document. For ...

Ending-Karma, This has a promising start but dissolves into a heavy handed rant before our eyes. This is compounded by hoary cliches (national annihilation, sexual disarray, political corruption) and

Clau, Shock value can be used appropriately. This is not such a case. You demonstrate a good handle on the English language and rhythm, but you simply fail to deliver ...

Hi, Fand - Thank God you didn't have a lesbian here. That might have made you violent. Seriously, this wanders from wonderful fun to boring in a few words, repeatedly. ...

Adnamarine - What you have posted here has about as much chance of surviving a serious edit as the sun rising in the West this morning. This is like jumbalaya ...

Collen-- "O" is for opium, no? The title, "Laudanum," is meant to invoke a Victorian sense, which I tried to follow up on in the poem: with the archiac language, ...

Shriek - I don't share the enthusiasm of the other readers for two reasons. You have some real problems here. 1.) I disliked both the opening and the close of ...