HostofHorus

Corrections are in [] "*BEEP* Mom, dad, anyone else who is watching, don't worry, it's not your fault. I was alone, but there is nothing you can do about it. ...

I like the message behind the poem but I feel it gets lost a little bit because of the rhythm. Things are very choppy here and they don't really seem ...

Howdy! Blue's Clues here to review. (yupp, that rhymes.) I'm just gonna go through the whole thing. My comments will be in italics and my the things I am addressing ...

Pie Girl! This was "fantastical." Almost all of it flowed so well together and you were able to incorporate so many different stories into one short poem. GAH! It was ...

Hi there Page! :) Glad to review today. I loved the very first question, and frankly, I thought most of what you went onto was great too, in fact, I ...

Jas! I'm finally here to review. I'm focussing mainly on the grammar and what not since I haven't read the first chapter. Your two biggest problems are as follows: Run ...

Hey Jasmine! Thanks for yet another request, I'm always happy to help out. First I'll give you all of my corrections, then I'll say some things. I'm mostly a grammar ...

Hello there Eloquent, Let me start by saying that you have written a very eloquent poem. I quite enjoyed this piece, especially the imagery that you made. It was quite ...

Hello again Kat! Honored to have you as my first review since coming back! I suppose you know my ways so I'll get to it. There is a name that ...

I'll make this short. Don't listen to the above.... This is obviously a kind of Haiku like poem, it doesn't need a ton of words. It isn't supposed to.... So ...

Human Host of Horus here to review. I have heard so many people talk about their first love, today I'll tell of mine, my first true love. I don't feel ...

Hey Peachy! I love this, it was short, and cute and sincere. It carried a giant backpack of emotion and delivered it straight to the porch of the reader. One ...

Hey there, human Host of Horus here to review. At first glance the thing I feel odd about, is the structure. I'll try to show you what I mean.... This ...

Hey there Bluitch! Here to review is the human host of Horus. I'm not so proud of most of the things I've done , I'm not proud of what I've ...

Hey Sakura, This will be short, much like the poem. There are no grammar things to correct because... well... It is so short I would hope you have all grammar ...