Twisted

I'm not so proud of most of the things I've done,
I'm not proud of what I've done to you.
I couldn't tell you why I do the things I do,
There's really no reason.
I'd cut you just to watch you bleed,
If you went up in flames, I wouldn't put them out;
I'm too fascinated by your reaction,
I get some sort of twisted satisfaction.
I don't know why.
I'm a sick, sick person it's taken me so long to realize,
That I live for the anger that always shows in your eyes.
You always get angry, you never disapoint.
There's so many things wrong with you and me,
But it's the way that we'll always be.
It's twisted. It's almost disgusting.
I'm a sadist and you're a masochist it's plain to see,
That we won't change.
We're twisted.
No matter how much damage I inflict, you never run
You just let out a hearty laugh, as if you think this is fun.
But it's nothing out of the ordinary,
Not for us.
We're twisted.
I feel like I'm trapped. No matter how hard I try I can't get out.
I don't know if I want to.
In this life there's so many things I'm unsure of,
Excluding you.
Because you don't seem to care about my nightmare personality.
I don't think you really see me with clarity;
Neither of us are in our right mind.
Somewhere our hatred turned into something else.
It's dark. It's painful, but we always pull through.
We always argue, always fight.
But in some bizarre way it feels right.
Because we're so obviously screwed up;
Twisted.

Comments & reviews · 4
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User avatar
bluitch Comment

thank you for the reviews! I apologize for the mistakes in punctuation...I'm kind of new to this whole poetry thing, so hopefully it'll get better and I'm glad you guys liked it overall!

User avatar
Soulkana
Review

Hey looks like I'm reviewing....

YAY!!!! Ok shoving that enthusiasm aside i must say, marvelously well done with this. It dragged me in and I didn't want to stop reading for anything XD. Well I could go on and on on grammar if I could but I can't because I stink at grammar therefore I would be of no assistance. XD. I liked it very much so. It tells a very twisted tale. Am wondering was this about a romance, a hatred, a friendship, or neither? Lols. Still I loved it especially the beginning and end. Very inspiring and very well done. ^^ Hope to have helped in some form. Keep up the good work and Happy Writing. Buenas Suerte y Adios!!
Soulkana<3

User avatar
HostofHorus
Review

Hey there Bluitch! Here to review is the human host of Horus.

I'm not so proud of most of the things I've done#FF0000 ">,
I'm not proud of what I've done to you#FF0000 ">.
I couldn't tell you why I do the things I do#FF0000 ">,
There's really no reason#FF0000 ">.

#8000BF ">(Suggestion that you break things up. This is not necessary, just a preference for me. It makes it easier to read.

I'd cut you just to watch you bleed#FF0000 ">,
If you went up in flames, I wouldn't put them out#FF0000 ">,
I'm too fascinated by your reaction#FF0040 ">,
I get some sort of twisted satisfaction#FF0000 ">,
I don't know why#FF0000 ">.#800000 "> I love this line haha. It made me laugh for some odd reason.

I'm a sick, sick person it's taken me so long to realize#FF0000 ">,
That I live for the anger that always shows in your eyes#FF0000 ">.
You always get angry, you never #FF0000 ">dissapoint disappoint.

There's so many things wrong with you and me#FF0000 ">,
But it's the way that we'll always be#FF0000 ">;
It's twisted. It's almost disgusting.
I'm a sadist and you're a masochist it's plain to see#FF0000 ">, #800000 ">This made me think of Love the Way you Lie Part 2... Just a random piece of trivia....
That we won't change#FF0000 ">.
We're twisted.

No matter how much damage I inflict, you never run#FF0000 ">,
You just let out a hearty laugh, as if you think this is fun#FF0000 ">;
But it's nothing out of the ordinary,
Not for us.
We're twisted.

I feel like I'm trapped. No matter how hard I try I can't get out.
I don't know if I want to.
In this life there's so many things I'm unsure of,
Excluding you.

Because you don't seem to care about my nightmare personality#FF0000 ">.
I don't think you really see me with clarity#FF0000 ">;
Neither of us are in our right mind#FF0000 ">.
Somewhere our hatred turned into something else#FF0000 ">.
It's dark. It's painful, but we always pull through.

We always argue, always fight.
But in some bizarre way it feels right.
Because we're so obviously screwed up#FF0000 ">;
Twisted.


#004040 ">Overall: I liked it. I wish, I wish, I wish, I wish, (is that enough to show how much I wish?) that people were told yo use punctuation, but sadly we are not. Just remember punctuation is important in poetry just as it is in other literature. I explained the stanzas.... I felt like there were a few parts where it seemed a bit forced. I don't know why, but that was just the way I felt. That said, most of it was pretty good in terms of flow, and rhythm. And on a final note, I really like the Twisted theme. Good job, if you have any questions, please let me know!

#BF8000 ">~HostofHorus



Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.
— Martin Luther King Jr.