Gone

HI Cgirl here for a review! First off, spelling mistake, it's "meant not ment". Second, this is kind of short. Maybe you can make it a diary instead of just one little voice recording. That would be epic and very impressional. Third, another spelling mistake, "please don't get to hung up over me", it's "too" not "to". Since this is short I don't have much to review.

Very sad but realistic!

Happy Writing,
Cgirl

*sniff* *sniff* so sad Maybe write like this, with the same power and talent, but do it about something epic or something happy. Then I'll go and give it a spankin' great review

I understand that this is just a taping, but I think it would be better of you added some meat to it.I really liked this. It struck really deep for me, because I've struggled with the big S for a while. . But yeah, I've had some issues with cutting in the past, and now I'm to the point where

I'm thinking about the big S but I know I couldn't ever actually do it. It's really scary to think about, that you could be so lost, so depressed like how I am, that you could ACTUALLY do that kind of thing. It scares me a lot, which is part of the reason I wouldn't be able to do it.

This is so short, yet so powerful.
I hate talking about suicide. It makes me so sad. It sickens me to find out some people bully others to the point where they feel they need to kill themselves.

That all i have with this review

Corrections are in []

"*BEEP*

Mom, dad, anyone else who is watching, don't worry, it's not your fault.

I was alone, but there is nothing you can do about it.

Life isn't me[a]nt for me, so I will leave it.

I'm taking up to[o] much space in [th]is world, and better people could take my place.

Please don't get to hung up over me, I'm not worth it.

I'm apologizing for ruining everything, and everyone's lives.

I will soon be out of your way.

I will be gone.

*BEEP*"

This was sad I'm not a big fan of suicide as I've had to stop quite a few of my really close friends. It's sad. And judging by this piece, you should know you're not taking up too much space. Any words that can touch anyone, any action that can have a positive effect on someone, no matter how small, is worth it. Osiris knows, there are far too many people who purposefully do harm. I liked how poignant this piece was and I hope you continue to write!

-H.o.H.

Crazy here with reviews for the green team~!

I understand that this is just a taping, but I think it would be better of you added some meat to it. What is she thinking as she records the tape? What do they think when they hear it? This would be much better of you had written a story with this as a recording.

To me, it sounds more like something that someone would record for running away. Since from what I know no one really does recordings anymore, so it would be good to have the setting in the early 80's or 90's or older. A better way to describe it would be a book called 'Thirteen Reasons Why', and I think that turning this into a story like they did in that book would be a good idea.

Hey littleauthor.

I really liked this. It struck really deep for me, because I've struggled with the big S for a while. If you don't mind, that's what I'm going to call it, the big S. But yeah, I've had some issues with cutting in the past, and now I'm to the point where I'm thinking about the big S but I know I couldn't ever actually do it. It's really scary to think about, that you could be so lost, so depressed like how I am, that you could ACTUALLY do that kind of thing. It scares me a lot, which is part of the reason I wouldn't be able to do it. The other reason is in your first line, the thought that doing it would hurt others, and that's unbearable to think about. But that brings me to another topic.

I thought that your starting sentence was brilliant. That is one of the biggest fears about people wanting to do the big S. it was a brilliant first line, but the mother and father would NEVER EVER believe it. They would feel guilt for the rest of their lives. See? It would hurt EVERYONE. I liked the Beeps, as well. I felt like they were very clear beginnings and ends to the piece. The second one kind of leaves the reader feeling like "okay okay sad sad oh. Its over. Now I want to cry." Basically that's how I read it. It was very accurate, and it was written well, even though it was short. Actually, I wouldn't oppose having them say more. So that we can know the character more. Have more pity along with the sadness.

Great job, message me with any questions.

Emmy

This is so short, yet so powerful.
I hate talking about suicide. It makes me so sad. It sickens me to find out some people bully others to the point where they feel they need to kill themselves. It truly is a horrible thing. It makes people uncomfortable. They don't want to talk about. Some even, ignore the fact that there are problems, such as bullying, going on today, in the generation. But I feel everyone should be educated in this matter. It's some serious stuff. The word needs to be spread.
Some people say suicide is a selfish, cowardly way out. I don't know if I necessarily agree with this. I don't think I can ever feel half of what the victim is feeling when they get those thoughts. I was lucky enough to not be picked on in school. The thing they don't tell you about school life? It sucks. You can and will be judged on everything you have ever known. Acceptance is depleting in this word and unfortunately, judgment on your appearance, your views, race, sexual orientation, ect. is soaring at an all time high. Nobody is willing to look inside, they only care about the outer layer. It's sad. It makes my heart break to think of these kids who will never know of the beautiful sensation of friendship. All they can do is repress the horrible memories they had when they were in school. The scary part? With this generation now, I believe suicide will be much more common than it's really supposed to be. I cannot even fathom the amount of bullying in this world. Disgusting is what it is.
I think it's good you posted this. Maybe they'll actually listen. Maybe it might knock some sense into some people. Good piece.