Changable Fate

Howdy! Blue's Clues here to review. (yupp, that rhymes.)

I'm just gonna go through the whole thing. My comments will be in italics and my the things I am addressing I will bold.

In the clear calm before the storm
A fate is sealed for angels to mourn this line struck me a little odd. Were you meaning that the angels had their fate sealed to mourn, or that someone else's fate was sealed in which angels mourned. This could be solved with a simple comma, or a "in which angels mourn," or something.
A young boy in the quiet of the night
Poisoned by evil and frozen by fright

To tear apart a border
And allow inside the world Hell’s horror this line seemed a little forced.
His destiny, unchangeable, unforgivable
Angels attack, his life, unlivable Love the parallelism and the way you left some of it unsaid. It was cool.

Branded as a demon’s son
It was he Heaven did shun
Until in the human’s world that night
When he first saw light

I really don't know what to think about that stanza. The second line again made it a little choppy and it was the first stanza that kind of decided not to be a complete thought.... I don't know. It just seemed out of place to me.

In the form of a young girl awww here comes the romance!
Blue eyes and golden curls slight suggestion. I think it would flow nicer if you added something like "with light blue eyes and golden curls." Just a suggestion tho!
Smiling and laughing, free
And he saw what he could be Me no like this line. First, does that mean that the line before this was talking about the boy? The reader is led to believe it was talking about the girl but then they get to this line and their head is spun around. Second, I can't quite grasp what you're trying to say: He saw that he could be a young girl with blue eyes and golden curls? Or does it mean that he saw what THEY could be together? Work on it a bit

WAIT!

Not a demon’s son,
Not a general of Hell
Not evil but good
A human with an unsealed fate

[i] I get it... It was another unfinished stanza! Still feels a little odd to me but, it's your poem I guess. In any case, I'm sorry to say it, but I hate the last line. Everything else in the poem rhymes and then you just end it with something that doesn't rhyme. It sticks out like a Anthony Davis' unibrow (sorry, basketball fan here) and leaves the reader with kind of a sour taste. Somewhere in the poem I would have liked to hear a little more about the girl too. I mean, I understand she changed his life, but how? Just because he saw her? I guess this is him seeing how he can change and all, but what is it about the girl that sparked these thoughts? [i]

Overall, I liked it for the most part. It was nice. The flow could use a little bit of improvement as it was a little choppy in some places but otherwise it was good. Didn't feel too forced. Good job, and as always, keep writing!