HopelessAbandon

Hi! “Whew. I got lucky there. I guess those days of throwing paperweights at people helped out after all. This needs quotations on both ends. General: Did Lilly know she ...

Hi again! Just found a few things: Not sure why, It should work "It" shouldn't be capitalized. I ran all the way back to the council chambers, and burst inside. ...

Hi! This review is the first one I've done in a year, so sorry if I'm a bit rusty! I saw one of your chapters in the Green Room, so ...

Hi! Sorry its taken me so dang long to get to this, but I'm here to review, finally! Fiery tentacles of fire This is redundant, either say "tentacles of fire", ...

Hi! Here for a quick review! This chapter, or section, is a great improvement on the other chapters you have! I just have a few comments... Why did it take ...

Hi! Here for a review! :) This really intrigued me, drew my attention in, which I guess is kind of the point of the prologue. Just have a few nitpicks. ...

Hi! Here for a quick review! Okay, so I don't really want to make the effort of going through and picking out every little thing that was wrong with this, ...

Hi! As for a title structure, it really depends on what your book is about. If its an action-packed novel, full of danger and drama, maybe choose a verb for ...

Hi! Sorry for the wait on my review, I've been a bit busy! Nitpick: In the first paragraph you start a three sentences in a row with "I" Your sentences ...

Wow, I really liked this! It was interesting, and made me want to know all about these characters and their lives. Just a couple comments: -First off, some of the ...

Hi! Here for a review... Wow. Okay, honestly, this is one of the better things I've read on this site. Its pretty awesome! I can't wait to read more, and ...

Hi! Here for a review... The beginning of this chapter is a bit awkward. You've got a nice steam of consciousness thing going on, but you need a bit more ...

Hi! Back again :D this time of night or morning should This needs to be broken up with some commas... like after "night" and possibly "morning". Just depends on how ...

Hi! Here to review. :) He looked like; an alligator Don't need a semi-colon here. His Jaw and mouth protruded Jaw doesn't need to be capitalized. older brother Alex and ...

Hi! So this is pretty great. So far I think this is the best chapter you've got. :D Bryon really intrigues me, I want to know more about that guy, ...