E - Everyone

Operation 16 (Chapter 6)

Fiery tentacles of fire wrapped themselves around me. I felt a tingling sensation where there should have been unbearable agony. My skin began to tear off and evaporate into the air. I saw my previous flesh become nothing before my eyes. I was no one now. I was not even human. There I stood surrounded by flames and all I felt was itching.

But alas, the feelings were quite different inside me. I felt my chest was as heavy as the three meteors that had come shooting down the sky. A pain throbbed from within that I could not grab at. It began to work its way into the far reaches of my mind where I still sheltered those long forgotten things I referred to as compassion, love and joy.

The body of my stepfather burnt before my eyes and I felt……… dreadful. I had been so happy to run away from him, thinking I knew everything about his intentions. That couldn’t have been far from the truth. If I had had the courage to confront him, instead of running away, then he wouldn’t have died. He ended up there to rescue me, because I had been a fool.

With a heart heavier than lead, I dragged myself through the burning embers and made my way outside. As if in accordance with my mood, raindrops began to pelt down from the skies. As I left the wreckage of the warehouse behind me, puddles formed in various spots along the roads. I looked into one and saw my true form.

My entire body was blue with white dots spread across. My feet were webbed whilst my fingers were long and thin. My body was well built with different shades of blue across it. Where there should have been hair, my head had long, dark blue, tentacle-like extensions which floated in the air as opposed to falling down my shoulders. It was very mesmerising to stare at them, as they defied gravity. My eyes were dark green with no pupils.

Staring into them sent a shiver down my back. I felt so scared to look at myself. The absence of pupils served as a reminder the shocking truths I had learnt moments earlier. I was an alien and part of a fleet that was supposedly attacking the human race. It was at this point that I noticed my mouth. It opened to reveal a green tongue with rows of canines. But I could not breathe through it. Instead I found myself breathing through my back.

I could not see it but I felt four holes running down my spine which opened and closed to let air in and out. Their movements were similar to the way spiracles worked in insects or the way stomata operated on the underside of leaves. I poked each hole with my long bony fingers and felt myself become slightly breathless as I blocked each one in turn.

Although my heart was weary, my body felt very strong and steady. I noticed that I walked with ease in the earthen atmosphere. I trudged effortlessly along the roads, which were empty and devoid of people, to my luck.

The closer I approached the destination, the more certain I became. If there was one person I could have trusted, it was my stepfather and if he was with the government, then I could trust them as well. So there was no question of what to do next.

******

“Freeze!” yelled a soldier. With his call, all the tanks in the vicinity fixed their gun cannons on me. The entire area became silent, as everyone turned to focus on me. I didn’t care. I just kept walking towards them.

“I said freeze!” ordered the same soldier, “if you keep approaching, we will fire.” I stood still.

“I am Jason Marco……. Turner. Yes, that’s my name…” I realised how happy I felt to acknowledge my adoptive surname. It was a symbol of my love, for the man who had died for me, “I am the one you have been searching for. As of this point I will resume my duties as an ambassador between our species. Take me to your leader if you wish to stop the war that is at your doorstep. Take me under your full security force if it comforts you, but I must speak with your leader immediately!”

Everyone shuddered for a second. I thought it was because they found my words moving, but then I realised it myself. As I had spoken, my mouth had not moved. It was not for breathing or speaking it seemed. I had spoken telepathically to the minds of everyone present. As I had spoken I had not only relayed words but also conveyed the emotions I had been feeling. The expressions of shock on the soldiers’ faces were replaced by sorrow. They understood my grief, but more than anything they believed me.

******

“Wow, you look human again,” exclaimed Mrs Paulman, the woman who was appointed to stay by my side throughout all the negotiations.

I raised my hands and saw human hands once again. My pale skin was slowly but surely reforming. I requested a mirror and saw my reflection. I saw pieces of flesh grow over my body slowly. I was almost the old Jason Marco Turner.

“Yes that is right. Your species, known to us as the Kodai (Code-eye), are very intelligent. They installed a human coating within your skin when you were young. Therefore even when your true form gets exposed the human shell will reform over your body, once again disguising you.” She beamed, clearly impressed. I stared blankly at her for a while.

“Oh right, where are my manners? I am Mrs Paulman. I formally welcome you to the White House. The President is waiting to speak to you in his office. This way please.” Mrs Paulman stepped aside and gestured with her hands for me to start walking.

If it were not for the severity of the situation, perhaps I might have been impressed but for that time being, the White House was merely an obstacle that stood between me and the world leader. It was way too big and I felt it tedious that I had to go through many corridors, before I reached my target person. Mrs Paulman opened the door and led me into the President’s office.

“Mr President, our guest has arrived.” She announced.

Comments & reviews · 4
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Hi! Sorry its taken me so dang long to get to this, but I'm here to review, finally!

Fiery tentacles of fire

This is redundant, either say "tentacles of fire", or "Fiery tentacles" instead of using both.

In that first paragraph you start your sentences with "I" too often... I would try to change it up a little, vary the structure a bit, you know what I mean?
Also, your first and second paragraphs kind of contradict each other. First you said that all your character felt was itching, but then all of a sudden there's all of these other agonies he's experiencing...

and I felt........ dreadful.

This should be "..."
That couldn???t have been far from the truth.

I think you meant, "That couldn't have been further from the truth"
Their movements were similar to the way spiracles worked in insects or the way stomata operated on the underside of leaves.

Not everyone knows how these work, so you might want to come up with a better description that will allow all readers to understand what you mean.
it was my stepfather

He's not really your characters stepfather, he's his adoptive father.
The closer I approached the destination

What destination?
It was a symbol of my love, for the man who had died for me,

He hadn't loved his adoptive father even before this whole thing went down, so where are all of these sudden emotions coming from? Is it an effect of him turning into his true form? If so, you might want to mention that.
As of this point I will resume my duties as an ambassador between our species

How does he know that he's an ambassador? Did it mention it in a previous chapter? If so, this is my bad because its been a while since I read the previous chapter, but if not, this is something you should explain.
They understood my grief, but more than anything they believed me.

Why do they understand your characters grief? Is it because they realize that his adoptive father is dead? If so you need to explain how they know.
“Oh right, where are my manners? I am Mrs Paulman
[/quote][/quote]
If your character doesn't know the name of a person that they are seeing, you can't label them until the character knows who is who. For example, you say "Mrs. Paulman said" or something along those lines, earlier but your character didn't know her name yet. You can't assign her a name until your character knows it. Sorry if that's confusing, I tried to explain it, but it doesn't sound as good as it did in my head haha.

Alright, I'm on to the next chapter!

~*Hope

User avatar
Noelle
Review
Noelle wrote a review · Sun Jul 28, 2013 4:27 pm

Hi there! I'm here for a Review Day review!

Whoa, I love this chapter. There's so much we learn about Jason that I never would've thought about. I thought that he was just some kid who had these powers. I never thought that he would end up being an alien. Although that does explain the whole everything turning blue in the beginning and why everyone wanted to capture him. I can't wait to see how this goes with him being an alien and all that.

The description of how he turned into his alien form was really good and interesting. I could see everything clearly and really got a good idea about what these aliens look like. I'm sure they all look like Jason. It's really cool how they can transform from human form to their form and back again. That's a nice power to have. For all we know, these aliens could've been wandering around Earth all this time :O No one would ever know because they looked like humans.

Overall this is a great chapter. I like how you're advancing the plot and moving the story along. As you probably know by now, I really like high action stories that are fast paced and keep me on the edge of my seat. That's what you've done with this story. Bravo :)

Keep writing!
**Noelle**

Sushi here! Okay, let me say that your opening line was very nice. It immediately caught my attention and made me want to read more. The little line about the take me to your leader seemed a little, well, used since that's the stereotypical line of all aliens, but I can understand why you needed to say that. This chapter seemed to flow very well, far better than the others and the imagery was definitely the best of all. The second part was a time skip, correct? That part was a little confusing because it skipped some possibly important information that I hope you elaborate on in your later chapters. There was really nothing to critique besides some slight grammar mistakes, but I'm sure you can go back and fix those easily. I look forward to seeing where you go with this.
Sushi :D

User avatar
TwinkleStar
Review

Woah, way to go with everything! This is too amazing, I'm not sure where to start.

First of all, I really liked the way you displayed the emotions that Jason was feeling as he watched his father's body burn. It was a great sacrifice he made for his son and he knew fire wouldn't burn or hurt him. That makes me wonder about his life. He might have gotten scrapes or gotten burned before, right? tiny burns or wounds... how he never suspected anything, that's a little hard to believe.

I would need a little info on his past as you progress with the story, you know, to get a sense of how an alien in a human body lived his life not knowing. Speaking of alien, the way you described him, with the actions. you described the pores on his back with the action of him not being able to breathe through his mouth. And how you said that his tentacles defied gravity, made me picture it perfectly. And his eyes, you made him look at his reflection to describe his eyes. The whole alien memory is stuck in my brain now. I pictured him so clearly, more clearer than the human form. =P

I really like the unique concept of him being able to communicate telepathically and I was so thankful that the soldiers agreed. What I'm wondering now is what kind of negotiations will he be able to make? In human years, he's just a kid but I'm not so sure about his alien race. And just when I was starting to like the blue skin, you made him change back. Although that's also a very unique thing, how he'll always change back every time something like that happens. It makes him part invincible...

I'm really psyched to know what will happen, and were those meteors an attack from his species? I just really want to know more. I hope the next chap will be up soon. =] Cz this one was really great!



sometimes i'm like "I should say something quotable to make it into the quote gen" but then I feel bad because quote gen quotes are very spontaneous
— theromanticchemist