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Re: Story Idea
Hmmm. This sounds intriguing. If its going to be a dirty romance novel, throw in a curveball like aliens or unicorns or something. People only read those things for one ...
Sep 22, 2012 -
Re: It will be a morning burial.
This is super powerful. What a grandmother.
Sep 22, 2012 -
Re: canada dry
This is a good poem. Its not perfect, but what is? I liked it. It's thoughtful. There's two things you need to make a good story. 1. You need to ...
Sep 22, 2012 -
Re: Thoughts from the Reject on the Bleachers
The voice of this piece is annoying. What a whiner. The premise behind the whining is outdated. These days, in high school, (depending on what kind of people you hang ...
Sep 22, 2012 -
Re: TetrachromaKids
This poem has a lot of visual images, but if a person can't understand your poem because of unnecessary words, it doesn't make it better. We'd stick fingers down dark ...
Sep 22, 2012 -
Re: Grandad
Oh. My. God. This is the first poem on this site ever that made me tear up just from reading it. Wow. I loved it's simplicity and it's easy flow. ...
Feb 16, 2012 -
Re: Her Parents Are Xenophobes And She Knows It
As with all songs posted on this site, this song would be much better if we could hear it. I think that with the right melody and proper emotion from ...
Nov 15, 2011 -
Re: Chemical love
I thought this was the cutest chemical poem that I have ever come across. You may want to check some of your facts, though. Also, Some of the wording should ...
Nov 8, 2011 -
Re: The (Really) Rough Road to Independence
I feel like this is part of a much larger book, It sounds like an article in a history textbook. It's kinda interesting, though. Perhaps you could try to make ...
Oct 5, 2011 -
Re: Getting Over It and Maybe you.
OK, um, this poem had me wanting for a comma. COMMAS are where the reader stops to take a break and collect her thoughts. This line here was almost impassable. ...
Jul 25, 2011 -
Re: Dreaming: a sailor's image
The rhyming seemed forced, the grammar was off, and the rhythm wasn't consistent. You need to make sure the poem is readable before posting. I didn't like it. It seemed ...
Jul 25, 2011 -
Re: Loose Change
The penny's backdrop is the Lincoln Monument, not the White House. So, there's that. Also, Lincoln's is the only face that faces right, instead of left, as most coins face. ...
Jul 25, 2011 -
Re: Delicious
? Usually I at least pretend to understand weird art. (it's an image thing.) but this... this didn't make any sense. I was confused the whole time. I didn't like ...
Jun 25, 2011 -
Re: Get Me There
yhummmm. I feel warm. GREAT imagery! Makes me feel like taking a road trip! At first, I was suspicious of your paragraph breaks, but as I read your poem, I ...
Jun 23, 2011 -
Re: Hidden Knight
Hey... I have to say, I liked the idea behind this, but the plot was un-followable. I couldn't tell what you were trying to do! I couldn't tell what was ...
Jun 23, 2011
