Published June 13, 2011
Fluffy dogs gambling
Old men rambling
Europeans cheese sampling
Cats flea fighting
Scared engineers nail biting
Rushed doctors writing
Hushed whispers sighing
Millions of flies dying
Chunky guys flying
Lumpy toads lying
Bumpy road riding
Little trains trying
Lazy consumers buying
Potato skins frying
Tateless cocktails drying
Faceless racecar drivers
Losing Clemson Tigers
Chosing slippery sliders
Saving sickly spiders
Hugging frickley pricklies
Eating Oreo cookies
While drinking chocolate milk.
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140,546 Literary Works • 673,419 Reviews
Thanks for all the reviews! I will fix the
part. The ending isn't supposed to rhyme though. It doesn't rhyme because it is supposed to kind of jump out in front of you as it has nothing to do with the rest of the poem. The poem isn't supposed to make any sense either. It shouldn't be considered "weird art". It's just meant to be fun to read out loud.Wow, this is really different than anything I'm used to, but I think that's why I like it!
It catches my attention and stays in my head awhile, gives me something to think about. Very unique and creative! Good job!I really liked the lines...
and...
I did notice that the ending doesn't ryhme, but I think that gives it individuality, sets it a little apart from the rest, so it works fine, for me at least. Overall, I enjoyed your piece! Keep it up!
<..> Kat
?
Usually I at least pretend to understand weird art. (it's an image thing.) but this...
this didn't make any sense.
I was confused the whole time.
I didn't like it, but that's because I didn't understand it.
However, I liked the rhythm and rhyme, they were awesome!
it was really a good poem...............but the line-
"North Korean sneeze champions"
didn't match with the whole poem................i wish u could put some other word in that place or exclude the line.........
also,the line-"While drinking chocolate milk"-didn't match with the poem.i suggest you to pay a little attention to your rhyming skill...............anyways,keep writing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ha, this is funny. I loved "Chunky guys flying"- made me lol.
Those lines seem to not rhyme well. Overall, I think it was a good humorous poem. Kudos!
I like chocolate milk too
also i like chocolate milk
your poem is really cute!! i absolutely awesomely adorble! kepp writing and i hope to see more
This is a really funny poem, i'm not sure if you meant it that way but it's funny. " Chunky guys flying" - I literary laughed out loud. " One grammar thing' Hugging frickley pricklies should be Hugging frickley prickles? Also frickley isn't a word. . . but i get what your going for that descriptive wording. Kind of like prickly? Whatever, either way I like the poem it was very cleaver and funny. It must have taken a while to come up with all those rhymes and lines. Good job!
Love,
LittleLionWoman