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Young Writers Society

Get Me There

by FRAYEDjade

Desert compulsion
As life twists
Two hundred by two hundred.
A little box of bipolar
Bloated and lovesick with moisture.
Some various battlecries
Sing out through my pores
And toughen conjectures of
Twenty revolutions.
Those Aztecs worshipped
The sun
While it baked them wholeheartedly into the ground.
Damn lucky, dusty souls.

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15 Reviews

Points: 1236
Reviews: 15

Sun Jun 26, 2011 9:48 am
MeganWeaver wrote a review...

I loved the emotion present in this I think it was communicated well :] My advice would be to lengthen out your lines because it's a very quick read and I don't think it gives total time to appreciate the words, unless of course this was your intention then I'd say well done :] Overall I believe that this poem was fantastic apart from what I mentioned before :] Keep writing poetry as good as this and you will go far :D

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72 Reviews

Points: 3376
Reviews: 72

Sun Jun 26, 2011 8:00 am
tigershark17 says...

Ooooh! i love your vocabulary! Your words literally create pictures in my mind. This is such a great poem! Great job, and keep writing!

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73 Reviews

Points: 2721
Reviews: 73

Sun Jun 26, 2011 7:45 am
Confused.pirate says...

Great job! I like the description and the imagery. I got a little lost on some parts in regards to what you were trying to describe or what type of emotion you were trying to convey, but otherwise I like it.

Keep writing!
<3 Sara.

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41 Reviews

Points: 240
Reviews: 41

Thu Jun 23, 2011 6:47 pm
BelarusBirdy says...

I love the last line!

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98 Reviews

Points: 240
Reviews: 98

Thu Jun 23, 2011 6:37 pm
FLyerS wrote a review...

yhummmm. I feel warm. GREAT imagery! Makes me feel like taking a road trip! At first, I was suspicious of your paragraph breaks, but as I read your poem, I came to love them! *likes*
Although, Some of it I didn't understand...

Two hundred by two hundred.

What was that about?

And toughen conjectures of
Twenty revolutions.

Whaaat? I didn't get those parts.

Yesterday is not ours to recover, but tomorrow is ours to win or lose.
— Lyndon B. Johnson