Get Me There

by FRAYEDjade

Published June 23, 2011

In Poetry

Desert compulsion
Sucks
As life twists
Two hundred by two hundred.
A little box of bipolar
Weather
Bloated and lovesick with moisture.
Some various battlecries
Sing out through my pores
And toughen conjectures of
Five
Ten
Twenty revolutions.
Those Aztecs worshipped
The sun
While it baked them wholeheartedly into the ground.
Damn lucky, dusty souls.

Comments & reviews · 5
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MeganWeaver
Review
MeganWeaver wrote a review Review · Jun 26, 2011

I loved the emotion present in this I think it was communicated well :] My advice would be to lengthen out your lines because it's a very quick read and I don't think it gives total time to appreciate the words, unless of course this was your intention then I'd say well done :] Overall I believe that this poem was fantastic apart from what I mentioned before :] Keep writing poetry as good as this and you will go far :D

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tigershark17
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tigershark17 commented Comment · Jun 26, 2011

Ooooh! i love your vocabulary! Your words literally create pictures in my mind. This is such a great poem! Great job, and keep writing!

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Confused.pirate
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Confused.pirate commented Comment · Jun 26, 2011

Great job! I like the description and the imagery. I got a little lost on some parts in regards to what you were trying to describe or what type of emotion you were trying to convey, but otherwise I like it.

Keep writing!
<3 Sara.

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BelarusBirdy
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BelarusBirdy commented Comment · Jun 23, 2011

I love the last line!

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FLyerS
Review
FLyerS wrote a review Review · Jun 23, 2011

yhummmm. I feel warm. GREAT imagery! Makes me feel like taking a road trip! At first, I was suspicious of your paragraph breaks, but as I read your poem, I came to love them! *likes*
Although, Some of it I didn't understand...

Two hundred by two hundred.

What was that about?

And toughen conjectures of
Five
Ten
Twenty revolutions.


Whaaat? I didn't get those parts.



There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy.
— William Shakespeare