EricBarkman

Wow, this somewhat reminds me of myself at that age. I think it does a very good job of capturing that teenage feeling of wanting to be grown up, but ...

This is an interesting look at how a day varies throughout, and why people often give a nondescript answer when asked how their day was, because it varies throughout, and ...

I actually really like this. It doesn't go into detail on why the two of them are bad for each other, but it's written in a way that it doesn't ...

It's an interesting way to tell the story, with the countdown. You do need to work on your writing a bit though. You mentioned it's your first time writing, so ...

Well, this isn't actually a limerick, as those are five lines long with a rhyming pattern of AABBA, while this is six lines long with a rhyming pattern of AABCCB. ...

You might want to do a few rounds of editing, as there are quite a few grammar mistakes throughout. You might also want to work on the beginning a bit. ...

The story is interesting. I'm assuming the ending is supposed to by implying that the Memory Box is working on it's own, just like stuff did around her as a ...

I'm assuming this is the start of something? It's interesting, but it feels more like a beginning than a stand-alone story. It definitely makes me curious about this world, about ...

So, I read through it, and it is a fairly simple story, more dealing with character interactions than actual plot, which is fine, but it does bring up an issue. ...

I like the story, and how it doesn't end the traditional way with the characters getting together, but I think you should have put more detail into why. The narrator ...

So, I started reading this, and I wasn't really liking the opening as I wasn't sure where it was going, or why it was going there. And then it arrived, ...

Very nice work. I like the rhyming scheme, and the rhythm of the poem. The line "I risk a glance, a small, small glance." felt a little off to my ...

This could be a decent story, except that the ending is only a surprise because it blatantly contradicts the narration in the first part. Namely the parts where Sam narrates ...