16+ Language Violence

Within the Fog

Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for language and violence.

PreviousNext

Sam

"Sam, why are we still here? I know you've heard about those...stories."

"Those 'stories' are a load of bullshit, Ben. You should know that." I duck under a low branch; I swat it away when it brushes against my head. "There is no cannibal walking around in this forest. If there really was, don't you think the police would've already investigated this entire area? Or at least, catch this 'cannibal' in the act?"

"I doubt they would even dare--not with this bloody fog! I can't see a thing!" Ben has said that over five times already. We've only been here for about half an hour.

Listening to someone's repetitive complaints annoys me as much as the next guy, but I've known Ben for nine months now; I've learned to get used to his whiny habits...somewhat. I do get these occasional urges to smack him in his bitch-face, but I never end up doing it.

We have a strange friendship.

We're meandering through a thick forest, it's past one o'clock in the morning, but I don't feel as tired as I thought I would. Let me tell you how I got in this situation. Including four others, Ben and I were sitting in this forest not too long ago. We were celebrating Amber's twenty-fourth birthday and--following the tradition we've developed over the past few years--sat around a campfire, drank beer, and just had a good time.

I don't drink as heavily as most of my friends. So of course, I had been appointed as the designated driver. I quickly sobered up by the time the party was over, and after driving all but one of my friends home, I was back here again for one reason only: my house keys were missing.

I decided to drag Ben along, because I realized what was missing right after he was the only one left with me. Ben was still a little drunk; the occasional slurring of his words confirmed it. So far, he wasn't any help--as per usual. I knew the Englishman was frightened because of what was supposedly lurking here. It's not just the newcomers who stay away from this forest.

The root of all this paranoia and fear originates from the stories.

There are countless of missing cases occurring. They start with young citizens going inside of this forest whenever  there's a thick fog, and never returning. That's the story, anyway. Similar things have been said over the past few months. It's not out of the ordinary that this town gets cloudy, misty weather on a daily basis. 

Last week, a rumor emerged about one of those missing persons being found, but they were beyond recognition. It was a girl, no older than the age of thirteen. The girl had been maimed during the last moments of her life. Her flesh was torn apart and her limbs were severed from the torso. The sinews of the girl's exposed muscles spilled into the world. Her stomach was slit open too, if memory serves.

There weren't any claw marks or any indications that a four-legged creature devoured the body, so they say a human did. I don't believe in that; there's no solid evidence to show this is true.

Ben groans in despair. "How much longer?"

"Not much longer, Ben."

He's quiet, but I don't expect him to stay that way for long. He asks me, "Why are you even carryin' that backpack anyway? Are you carryin' a torch in there?"

Torch equals flashlight in British terms. Unconsciously, I grunt through my nose. "No. If I did, I would have taken it out by now, Ben. Plus, I'm carrying the beers we didn't finish--I'm saving them."

"Y'know what? Let's just leave," he suggests. "You can sleep the night at my place, and we can come back here in the morning when there's no fog. Yeah?"

I offer a sarcastic laugh his way. "No thanks, Ben. You live in a pigsty. There's no way you're convincing me to sleep there."

"Arsehole," he remarks, "I was tryin' to be nice." I don't make any further comments after that; I don't feel like agitating him any further. A few moments later, I glance down at my feet after hearing a soft crunch sound.

"Good; we're on gravel. It means we're on the right track. And Ben, since you're so scared, I'll just go up ahead and search around our campfire spot, in case that cannibal is there already."

Ben sighs irritably, like the drama queen he was born to be. "Make it quick. But if I hear any sounds, I'm bailing."

I shrug my shoulders; I couldn't care less. "Fine by me. But I'm the one with the car." I  turn on my heel and walk away, leaving my friend grumbling to himself as he leans against a tree.

--------------------------

Ben

"How could somebody just lose their house keys...?! Out of all things...?" I apply friction to my hands by rubbing them together and try to make myself less disgruntled about the chilly air. It was warmer just a few hours ago--I don't understand how weather can change this quick.

And why drag me into this place?

I still don't see a point in this. Sam forced me to accompany him because he wouldn't drive me home until I accepted his request. This is a game of finding the needle in a haystack. There's no such thing as a "helping set of eyes" when the fog is this thick. I just don't understand my friend sometimes--most of the time, really.

When I first met Sam, I didn't like him for some reason. I guess I just got a bad impression of him, but then I learned he was a cool, decent person... Except, only when he's not being a total prick. That's all. Sam takes the sentence "honesty is the best policy" way too seriously; he's just pretty damn blunt about everything. 

I wait for more than a few minutes.

Where in the world is he?

I don't want to shout his name--it'd be a stupid idea to attract the attention from that cannibal. Just like Sam said, I am afraid. Anyone would be too, if they learned a predatory creature of their own species was roaming the streets.

I hear a few bushes stirring from movement, and I nearly jump  out of my skin.

It's not something--someone is there. Contrary to what I told Sam earlier, my feet stay planted to the ground. Before me, is the eerie silhouette of a man. He's just standing there. The fog serves him as his mask; I can't see anything but his shape. I know he's staring at me.

"Sam?" my voice shakes, but I try to sound as angry as possible. "If this is a damn joke, it ain't funny!"

The man doesn't answer. I step away from the tree I leaned on, and back away from him as steadily as I can. I see the man raise his right arm and point something at me. A gun. This realization makes me feel colder--heavier--than I ever thought.

I know it's too late to run; he can see my silhouette as well as I can see his.

I'm trembling so much, it's uncontrollably. I'm going to die. Right here, in this moment without any final goodbyes to anyone. Not my family, friends, acquaintances--not even Amber. I want to tell her how much I love her. This leaves me feeling something I have never experienced before: helplessness. 

I raise my hands in front of me to signal my relinquishment. My eyes burn from the tears and my throat constricts itself into a tight knot--so tight that it hurts to speak.

"Please... Don't shoot."

-------------------------------

Sam

The sound of a single gunshot tears through the heavy, night air. It screams in my ears, letting out a sharp, furious cry before dissipating into silence. I don't break into a run from the noise. I stand where I am, though only for a moment. I slowly move forward, and the gravel is whispering beneath my shoes.

I stand over Ben's corpse. I stare at his lifeless eyes; he returns my gaze without actually looking back at me. His forehead bears a raw bullet wound, followed by a small crimson line that flows down his face. The ground beneath his head has been painted with a careless plethora--a splatter of dark fluid intermixed with tidbits of brain.

It's beautiful. He experienced a quick, painful death...unlike the others.

"Sorry, Ben," I tell him, "But it was time for my dinner."

I return my gun to its holster, and pull out the machete from my backpack. The satisfaction of curling my fingers around the machete's handle causes me to shiver with absolute delight. It's been too long since I have felt its welcoming touch... I smile to myself, then I begin to work.

Comments & reviews · 4
Note: You are not logged in, but you can still leave a comment or review. Before it shows up, a moderator will need to approve your comment (this is only a safeguard against spambots). Leave your email if you would like to be notified when your message is approved.

User avatar
Rin321
Comment

Wow, that ending was so great! It was a total turn around! I think it was great, but there could have been lees Bad words used! I loved how bone chilling it was! I love horror, and this was a great story!

User avatar
EricBarkman
Review

This could be a decent story, except that the ending is only a surprise because it blatantly contradicts the narration in the first part. Namely the parts where Sam narrates his reason for bringing Ben out here, and that he doesn't believe in the cannibal. Also, your tense is off in a few areas, such as "We're walking through". And I would recommend changing the line "recently visited this forest not too long ago" to specify that it was hours ago, as on my reading I was thinking it meant days or weeks ago.

Basically, it's a decent story, but it needs a lot more work to make it work.

I'll work on those areas that you pointed out--I have trouble with keeping the same tense. As for Sam telling the reader that he didn't believe in the cannibal, I was going for an unreliable narrator. Hopefully that clears more things up; I intended for Sam to lie. Thank you for your review!

Whoa, did not see the ending coming... I really liked how you got two different perspectives! However,the part "Anyone else would be if" sounded weird to me. Maybe "Anyone would be" or "Anyone else would be too." Also, the part where Ben is describing Sam is a bit rough. I would suggest to go into a little detail on how Sam is a prick.

I very much like the cannibal thing because cannibals scare the crap out of me! One because that crap could actually happen. Plus, to top it all off he's a serial killer! Like my two biggest fears in one story!

Thank you! I'm glad you didn't expect it; that means I did it right. And thanks for pointing out that sentence; I'll fix that. When it came to Ben describing Sam, I'll admit I wasn't ENTIRELY sure what to type on that. So I understand why you say that part is roughly-written. I'll work on that.

This goes without saying because of my other comment, but I completely agree! One of my friends watches Hannibal, and I don't think I'd ever be able to watch it without cringing.

User avatar
MoonlitDream57
Comment

Kinda was inspired by Silent Hill 1-3 with the whole fog thing... Also, the whole idea of a cannibal freaks me out sooo that's why I chose that as the center of the short story.



If you are tired remember it's a sign that you haven't expired
— fatherfig