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DoubleOJell0

DoubleOJell0: Too Jelly?

  • Short Story » Literature, General Re: A dark sky

    This is interesting... Don't call it "Garbage", I usually write my stories in a very short amount of time, sometimes with not much though (My works are mostly silly). Mistakes: ...

    Sep 14, 2016
  • Poetry » General, General Re: Dreadful Waits

    Your avatar makes sense with this poem, lol. Anyway, this was hard to criticize, there were no mistakes that I caught. So that means I can just give you advice. ...

    Feb 17, 2016
  • Poetry » Realistic, General Re: Blue and Red

    Ok, here for a review! There's some stuff that I have noticed... First of all, "The blue is the color of my tears" Tears are actually colored silver and not ...

    Feb 6, 2016
  • Poetry » General, General Re: Laughs

    Well, as a guy who sometimes finds himself laughing, I really had to read this. Ok, first of all: "The ones that make your eyes eyes water without warning" A ...

    Feb 6, 2016
  • Article / Essay » General, General Re: Code Switching Essay

    Welcome to YWS! To be honest, I have never read an article in this website (not that I could remember). I like the way you wrote this ( if you ...

    Feb 3, 2016
  • Poetry » General, Literature Re: My Mother

    Welcome to YWS! This is nice for a first try. The only two mistakes that I noticed is that the tune/way of the poem seems to go a bit weird ...

    Jan 6, 2016
  • Poetry » Romantic, Dramatic Re: "Her"

    Ok, I like it! There are some mistakes I have noticed, however: "piece by piece,here and there" Make space after a comma, just like this sentence. "You would have ripped ...

    Nov 3, 2015
  • Poetry » General, General Re: Poetry

    It's pretty good, just it feels just a bit too short; I recommend you to put some more words. This is really beautiful, though, and the metaphors are really impressive. ...

    Nov 3, 2015
  • Lyrics » General, General Re: Dancing Monkey

    I'm not exactly sure what you're referring to (A short person who uncontrollably dances?) so I might do this wrong: Put commas and periods instead of just exclamation marks. And ...

    Oct 22, 2015
  • Poetry » General, General Re: Demons

    Nice, It's really good for someone who's just starting. You forgot to put some commas/periods in some sentences, try focusing more. I agree with niteowl, try using all sorts of ...

    Oct 22, 2015
  • Poetry » General, General Re: If My Life Were a Novel. . .

    Ok, this is really interesting. It's really simple, yet impressive. I like the flow of this, and the rhymes are great. I don't think this has any mistakes, though I ...

    Oct 12, 2015
  • Short Story » Realistic, Literature Re: Please Don't Go...

    OK, I'm not sure if this is a true story(Because of the desc. and "Ellen"). This did really good at giving me a sad feeling. There are a few mistakes, ...

    Oct 12, 2015
  • Short Story » Historical Fiction, General Re: Sasha Inwood

    OK, the end made me quite interested, though it's a little wrong. Here a few things I can tell you: The last paragraph, doesn't make any sense, if he's writing ...

    Oct 12, 2015
  • Poetry » Narrative, Spiritual Re: A Ghost on Vacation!

    Ok, I'm really confused how somebody was sent to hell and he prayed to God to make him human. There were also a few other mistake/recommendations: He prayed to God ...

    Oct 11, 2015
  • Poetry » Realistic, Realistic Re: Tres Moons

    Yay, time for a review! I noticed that "Tres" means three. (I don't know spanish that much). But I'm quite confused what this meant... maybe you should add more information? ...

    Oct 10, 2015


It's a pity the dictionary has only one definition of beauty. In my world, there are 7.9 billion types of it- all different and still beautiful.
— anne27