E - Everyone

My Mother

PreviousNext

My inspiration, my motivation;

my confidence, my power;

my mentor, my guide;

All is my mother.


My mother is like sunshine in my life

which enlightens my life.

My mother is a spring of inspiration for me.

She loves me, she cares me

and protects me from every sadness.

She sacrificed a lot for me,

she suffered all my pains.

She divides all sorrows, multiplies happiness

& is always with me.

She is my life.

                                                                                                                                                                                   

Thank you God for giving me such a lovely mother.

Comments & reviews · 2
Note: You are not logged in, but you can still leave a comment or review. Before it shows up, a moderator will need to approve your comment (this is only a safeguard against spambots). Leave your email if you would like to be notified when your message is approved.

User avatar
DoubleOJell0
Review

Welcome to YWS! This is nice for a first try. The only two mistakes that I noticed is that the tune/way of the poem seems to go a bit weird and not really straight. I recommend, for the next poem you write, to check every word and try to see if you can "Go through the words easily". The second mistake is that in the first paragraph, you say that your Mother is "my power", which doesn't really make sense. Other than that, it was worth my time to read this.

I know this review is rushed, I haven't wrote a review in a while.

User avatar
felistia
Review

Hi Samarthi, Felistia here with a review on your poem. :D

Firstly welcome to YWS, I hope you have a fun stay here. Now on with the review. :D

Rhythm: You rhythm feels just a bit off at times. Most of the time it is perfect, but every now and then a line seems to shoot out a lot longer than the rest and it messes up the rhythm. (I have this problem all the time when I write poetry).

Small problems: (she cares me) should be (she cares for me).

Message: I really love that you choose such a heart felt subject. (I really love my Mother) You told it from a great perspective and you covered all the hardships most Mothers go through when raising a child. :D

Over all a really lovely poem and I look forward to seeing more of your work soon. Never stop writing and I hope you have a great day\night. :D



No one achieves anything alone.
— Leslie Knope