A certain bee in my bonnet
completely razes the nest,
telling me to feel sorry.
Out to a sprawling metropolis I'll walk;
prefaced by three hundred miles
of pure American desert.
Wanting to swim in the Alkali flat;
I try to run to it
but the honey is sticky.
I stare up at the three moons
(one for each emotion)
and I decide to wait
until I see a blue moon.
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139,784 Literary Works • 672,764 Reviews
Yay, time for a review! I noticed that "Tres" means three. (I don't know spanish that much). But I'm quite confused what this meant... maybe you should add more information? I also saw that below the color of blue is sad. And that in that day there was a rare "Blue moon"?
Sorry, I'm really stupid.
Don't review any of my works again, please. You took the place of another Green Rook review and this barely related to the topic of my poem.
Well, that was harsh...
It's not harsh, exactly. This review was, in a sense, just a cheap point grab to get points to post your chapter a minute later. People usually don't review out of the Green Room, so now I'm out of a review.
I asked nicely, but I'm not going to encourage you for more reviews like this. It doesn't help the writer.
Thanks!
Ok
:^)
"A certain bee in my bonnet
completely razes the nest,
telling me to feel sorry."
This part is slightly rambling, maybe remove the comma to make it flow better.
"I stare up at the three moons
(one for each emotion)
and I decide to wait
until I see a blue moon."
This part can also get slightly confusing, but I might just not understand the full meaning to it. The concept of the poem is entertaining and keeps you reading, but it's hard to understand, at least for me. Maybe some clarification?
Sorry, i'm terrible at reviews.
Blue; sad color.
Blue moon; rare.
Aka I'm not feeling sorry.
Blue; sad color.
Blue moon; rare.
Aka I'm not feeling sorry.