Chevy

Eh...perhaps I will. But I've been getting lazy these days. How many pages is it and do you have to read them in order?

Yes, Maitre I agree...someday the site will be there.

Wow I loved this...this should be a movie. I've never read any scripts by you before but this is quite impressive. I'm sorry I'm not giving in productive critquing but ...

(My computer won't let me post it all simultaneously. It was too large) She's growing too weak, she can no longer play, Her courage surprises me even more each day. ...

There was nothing special about this but I guess there doesn't always have to be something special. However, it could use something to make it stick out. As of now ...

I love how you took a traditional way of writing and put contemporary words to it. Very neat.

There's something about short poems that's just so...beautiful. Only if they're good though. And this one is good...

It took me forever to make this clear...I guess I was still ambiguos.

Um....very interesting. In my opinion it just seemed like a very detailed diary entry. I also couldn't really find the point.

Thanks, emotion_less. I fixed the typo, by the way.

I agree with seemed like you were trying to be stylish and perhaps, something that you were not (meh, that came out wrong). Seems like there was a lot going ...

Gosh I didn't get it but I still liked it. Hm....:wonders who is the "he":

Wow thanks Sam. But God, it took me awhile to get the last stanza down as I recall.

I wrote a song along these lines but what you've created here is of course a lot better than anything I could ever do.

This is the best thing I have read by you! You certainly have improved since "Ghost." I loved the theme. It was so sweet and innocent. Great job.