Chevy

I don't really care for the astericks. They seemed cheesy and made the poem a bit of a joke considering astericks is what most people us in instant message conversations ...

I agree with Chandni. It was a neat little love poem, I suppose. To be honest, I would probably like it if it was written for me. Chevy's Critiquing Scale ...

Before I ever saw what Brian said, I said the same thing. You wrote this poem with much emotion and it was done very well because you didn't go emo ...

"So bitter it tastes like sugar" Interesting analogy but it came out a little corny. "In black…not pink" I must admit, I liked this line but "And you must die ...

"Fifteen years of lacing me up," You really built up to this line and then you just let it go. It's your best line...you would do good adding something about ...

Wow...how romantic. It had a really nice flow and gave you a real appreciation for the Winter Season. I enjoyed the first stanza the most. Chevy's Critiquing Scale far left ...

"It probably won't make much sense to you. Again, not about suicide. It's not a goodbye, more of a memories. If you care enough to ask, I will gladly explain." ...

I liked all of it however, I don't see how the first two paragraphs fit the others. As always when reading your stories/poems, I was distracted with the idea if ...

Grrrrr...stop showing me everything and then posting it on YWS because then I don't get the excitement of coming here and saying, "Oh, look Brad wrote another poem for me ...

"I traced my fingers around your body" *Shudders* I thought this was cliche and kind of boring for the beginning of the poem... As for the rest of it, I ...

As Liz first stated, it lacked quite a bit of emotion.... I think the main problem, was because of it's lack of imagery and metaphors. But then again, if someone ...

Four year later, my older brother boarded a train Did you mean four years later? I'm a leaf blown through a twister. Great for the middle of the poem...loved this ...

The first stanza was a bit rushed and in my opinion in could be split in two. I liked this idea and it kind of reminds of my poem "Old ...

Wow...I really liked this. From the title to the last line. My only critique would be: but nothing changes your DNA and the opposing side was a mouthful. but when ...

Very good imagery. Braided hair like coarse leather. Loved it. But as I have been told several times, it was really good but it led up to almost nothing. When ...