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Re: My Daddy, The General
Hello there! :) Nice title. :smt023 Nitpicks: Yes, sir! I'll do the dishes, Though my eyelids are heavily laden With wishes of sleep. - First of all, this a nice ...
May 14, 2011 -
Re: First kiss
Hello there. :) I've got nitpicks for you: The moonlight shone down onto her pale, beautiful face. Her firm jaw framing her perfect smile. - I'm not really good with ...
May 14, 2011 -
Re: Inspiration and Writer's Block
Hello there! :D I've got a few nitpicks for you: I can't talk, I can't listen, I must write, write, WRITE! - I think this line will feel stronger if ...
May 12, 2011 -
Re: You
Hello there. :) Nitpicks: With you I have to decipher, I have to decipher. - Put a comma after 'you'. Also, I'm not sure if the repetition of the 'I ...
May 12, 2011 -
Re: Dylan, I Hardly Knew Ya
Hello there! :D Nitpicks: I stood in the empty field, looking out to the sun setting over the horizon. The red blazing ball of gas was bleeding into the sky. ...
May 12, 2011 -
Re: Friendship
Hello there. :) I've got nitpicks for you: Lies, secrets, gossip. Are these the words you connect with friendship? - Nice opening. :smt023 I also like the rhyming of 'gossip' ...
May 10, 2011 -
Re: Are you rejecting me?
Hello there. :) I've only got two nitpicks for you: How dare you say I am not fit To love someone like you? Is there a vital thing I’ve missed ...
May 10, 2011 -
Re: Fragile
Wow, this was surprisingly short. xD This is like the shortest poem I've ever read as far as I can remember. But you did a nice job. :smt023 :D The ...
May 9, 2011 -
Re: Winterland
Hello there. :) Nitpicks: A world of Ivory Is yet to unfold. Waiting patiently For it to be told. - I like this beginning. :smt023 It's simple, yet inviting. :) ...
May 6, 2011 -
Re: My Dear Person
Hello there. :) Nitpicks: “You only believe because, they tell you to.” No, dear person, that would make me a hypocrite. - I love the attitude of the persona. xD ...
May 6, 2011 -
Re: A Phantom or Memory? (poem written by friend died recently)
I'm sorry for your friend. I hope he rests in peace. ^_^ Nitpicks: A memory, how can I be when no one remembers me? - I'm not sure if this ...
May 5, 2011 -
Re: Teenage Emergency
Hello there. :) First, I've got some nitpicks for you. Comments: Getting high and feeling low Cutting deep and breathing shallow - I specifically like these two lines. And pretending ...
May 5, 2011 -
Re: falling
Hi there. :) Comments: Save me I’m falling - There should be a comma after 'me'. Guided by the hands of your heavy lies - I'm not sure if I ...
May 5, 2011 -
Re: Stalking My Stalker
Hey, Sol. :) (If I was faster, this review was supposed to be the first lol xD) Nitpicks: Procrastinating watching T.V. - I think that there should be a comma ...
May 4, 2011 -
Re: Because I'm a Christian
Nice poem! ^_^ It is very true and pure and I can see nothing wrong with it. I hope all the other people in the world can get this message. ...
May 4, 2011