Young Writers Society

Dang, 42 likes. Praise God! Thanks everyone

Ok, this was an amazing poem! I really enjoyed it and especially loved the wording you used! It wasn't huge "college words" like most people use to write their poetry, trying to make it sound official. I prefer poems like these that use words that everyone can understand and anyone that's any age would be able to understand this.

Catri wrote:Just because I'm a Christian
Doesn't mean you should forget I'm human,
And also deserve to have a chance.

i'm loving this. Just Because I'm a Christian. I'm a Christian to, for that fact. Wow, you truly express what Christianity is really about. It's not just about turning the other cheek, but about what we Christians still have the ability to do. does that make sense? i dunno, i don't really make sense. But that's probably the ability of a Christian, right?? that doesn't make sense, I know.

KEEP WRITING!!!!!

-Kat

I think I have replied but I want you to know I love this poem it is amazing and true. A lot of people think differently but I don't care what anyone says this is one of the best poems I have read. keep up the good work!!!!!

@ Mustard

I wrote it from my heart, and it was enough for the majority, which is what I wanted. I disregarded all the true elements a poem must have, and it turned out how I wanted it to. Not to please, but to be understandable. So I knew it would lack what people like you would have liked in the poem, but that is okay, for that was what I wanted, and I was not really targeting people like you with this poem. I made success in conveying just a clear message to most of the readers. Thank you for your input.

shiney1, I'll do a review here. Haven't seen you on the forum in a while, suppose I've been really busy recently.

So a stanza structure of repeated intro lines, 3 lines each for...ten stanzas? Yes ten, and in fact, the structure of the first two lines is repeated. So the resultant effect: rigid, rigid structure requires a powerful message and immeasurable execution of interesting technical aspects of poetry.

This is not such a poem. And while this resembles a poem, I hesitate to call polemics like this a poem. How is this a polemic? You assume of your reader and you assume of yourself: an inherent sense of status and assumptions before either of us come to the table, before I even read your words. There goes a proverb - The usefulness of a cup is in its emptiness- that I think applies to Poetry in manners that proverb only begins to scratch; but that's the point, the cup is empty for experience to fill, not for either to party to claim and fill and drink themselves.

I don't care what title, class, group, sect, race, nationality you belong to: in poetry none of that matters. We don't want to read your specific point of view (UNLESS you can incorporate poetic elements and obfuscate your voice), we want to be placed in a position you present and experience it, not to be lectured or "informed".

Just because I'm a Christian
Doesn't mean I'm better than you,
Or that my life is worth more than yours

Just because I'm an Atheist/Gay/Man/Woman/Hindu/Muslim/Pat Buchanan/etc.
Doesn't mean I'm better than you,
Or that my life is worth more than yours

Just because I'm an Atheist/Gay/Man/Woman/Hindu/Muslim/Pat Buchanan/etc.
Doesn't mean I can trample you,
Walk all over you as I do to the floor.

Just because I'm an Atheist/Gay/Man/Woman/Hindu/Muslim/Pat Buchanan/etc.
Doesn't mean I should condemn you,
Whenever I don't agree with what you do

Just because I'm an Atheist/Gay/Man/Woman/Hindu/Muslim/Pat Buchanan/etc.
Doesn't mean I have the right
To scoff and spit and throw insults at you.

Just because I'm an Atheist/Gay/Man/Woman/Hindu/Muslim/Pat Buchanan/etc.
Doesn't mean I'm a jerk,
Or cares nothing about how others feel

Just because I'm an Atheist/Gay/Man/Woman/Hindu/Muslim/Pat Buchanan/etc.
Doesn't mean I have to turn the other cheek
When it hasn't had enough time to heal.

Just because I'm an Atheist/Gay/Man/Woman/Hindu/Muslim/Pat Buchanan/etc.
Doesn't mean it's okay to mock my beliefs,
Or to call them and my God/Gods/Ideas/Politics/etc. stupid

Just because I'm an Atheist/Gay/Man/Woman/Hindu/Muslim/Pat Buchanan/etc.
Doesn't mean I'm a punching bag,
Or am here to get bashed over the head.

Just because I'm an Atheist/Gay/Man/Woman/Hindu/Muslim/Pat Buchanan/etc.
Doesn't mean I'm like the others,
Whom you judge at first glance

Just because I'm an Atheist/Gay/Man/Woman/Hindu/Muslim/Pat Buchanan/etc.
Doesn't mean you should forget I'm human,
And also deserve to have a chance.

Thank you all for your kind words

heyyyy This was a really good poem I can relate to it a lot because I use to get judged by my cover and not by who I am and it hurts but that's all right. I love your Poem a lot sorry that I kind of got off topic it's been a long day.

I love this poem! It is really good! I went to Catholic school for about 7 years and it was the worst experience of my life. I am Atheist and I will never go back to "believing." Often, I've felt as though I am below White Christians because they seem to dominate. As a Puerto-Rican Atheist with very controversial views, I feel a bit lonely in the world. But it's nice to see the other side of the spectrum. I think you did a great job on this, and should continue writing with your own unique style. I love hearing about how strong people commit themselves to their opinions. Awesome job!

Thank you all

I LOVE thi poem. I really expresses the heart and feelings. I am a christian too, so tha tis good! I feel the same way in parts of the poem, just so you know you aren't writing this for you, your writing this for you brother's and sisters of the lord. Which is true, Good and true poem! Keep writing, from the heart, 'cause your really, really,really good at it!

Wow! That was beautiful! And your thoughts were very well balanced! That was excellent. And the your notice and fullness must be appreciated.

i like your poem and agree with it and i think if you use I am instead of I'm it will make your words more powerful but other than that i think you should keep it the way it is

Just because I'm a Christian
Doesn't mean it's okay to mock my beliefs,
Or to call them and my God stupid

Just because I'm a Christian
Doesn't mean I'm a punching bag,
Or am here to get bashed over the head.

Just because I'm a Christian
Doesn't mean I'm like the others,
Whom you judge at first glance

Just because I'm a Christian
Doesn't mean you should forget I'm human,
And also deserve to have a chance.

This was very interesting. I like the way you set it out but i love what it was about. My boyfriend and most of my friends are deeply christian, but i'm not. So it reflects the way we treat each other, respect my views and i'll respect yours. Keep up the good work.

AMEN, my sister in Christ.

Yep...I liked this poem...liked it alot ! I also liked the repetition at the beginning of each stanza. Keep it up, it was a lovely read. And yeah...i also feel the same way ! -__-

It's a really nice poem. I enjoyed reading it. Keep righting!

Just a question, what was the aim of this poem?

Oh thank guys! *hugs*

Hey Shiney! I'm not really one for reviewing poetry, but I had to leave a comment here!

This is a great poem; technical-wise, I love the simplicity of the structure, and the repetition of the first line, and the overall rhythm. It has a very easy flow and I love the way you've made it feel...comforting to read. I hope that makes sense, but I can't really describe it any other way. I don't feel like you're preaching at me, or sounding angry or annoyed -- you just sound peaceful and happy with who you are and your beliefs, and I love that!

As for the content itself, it's beautiful. You touch on so many subjects that are of issue with Christians, and you do so in a non-confrontational way. You simply state your side and do so in a manner that is humble and yet strong. Honestly, I don't have anything to criticize; you blended the gentleness with the confidence in Christ, and I love it! Thank you so much for writing this beautiful poem and sharing it with us.

Keep up the great work! Cheers. (:

Hi, Shiney! Glad to read this poem. I really liked the simplicity of this, with three line stanzas, and the rhyming. (Yours and floor are familiar. Oh yes, I used it in this song. Isn't that a cool rhyming?) I really like the first part. It seems to be really saying something. The first four stanzas got me.

Just because I'm a Christian
Doesn't mean I'm better than you,
Or that my life is worth more than yours

Just because I'm a Christian
Doesn't mean I can trample you,
Walk all over you as I do to the floor.

Just because I'm a Christian
Doesn't mean I should condemn you,
Whenever I don't agree with what you do

Just because I'm a Christian
Doesn't mean I have the right
To scoff and spit and throw insults at you.

@Formslipper

I know Christians started it, as I said before, but not everyone is at fault. My aim was not to capture joy. The only aim was to express my feelings about another aspect about Christianity: being persecuted. People say we have no right to say we are persecuted but it does happen and I have felt it many times. Jesus even said true Christians will be persecuted, maybe not stoned or anything, but people will hate them and be nasty because of what they believe.
This poem is not about being saved and feeling "sorry" for people. It is about what I felt in my heart at the time.

I read it. Actually, I don't have much time because I'm away from my computer and using my Dad's iPad, so my response won't be as up to par as my usual responses to segments like these

So, you wrote a religious poem on a non-religious site. Props for that. I don't think people judge Christians except for being judgmental. You follow? In other words, Christians started it, so don't ever be arrogant.

My only criticism is that your poem is, in essence, universal. Everyone suffers under judgment, and many Christians think of themselves as getting the brunt of everyone else's hatred. The ones not under Christ's hand are the true sufferers. They don't know the Redeemer; they are without the Truth. So, I don't think you captured the joy it is to be saved from Hell. You only outlined the grief it is to be accosted for our singularity.

Overall, though, you're very audacious, so keep walking in the Light, and know the joy it is to be redeemed. No one can persecute you, because "to live is Christ and to die is gain."

Wow. I really love this. I know this isn't much of a review, but I just need to say that I really like it. Great job!

I ADORED this poem. I love the meaning it has behind it, I love everything you said in it, and it was wonderfully written. Awesome job.

Just because I'm a Christian
Doesn't mean I'm better than you,
Or that my life is worth more than yours #FF0000 ">Period

Just because I'm a Christian
Doesn't mean I can trample you,
Walk all over you as I do to the floor.

Just because I'm a Christian
Doesn't mean I should condemn you,
Whenever I don't agree with what you do #FF0000 ">Period

Just because I'm a Christian
Doesn't mean I have the right
To scoff and spit and throw insults at you.

Just because I'm a Christian
Doesn't mean I'm a jerk,
Or cares nothing about how others feel #FF0000 ">Period

Just because I'm a Christian
Doesn't mean I have to turn the other cheek
When it hasn't had enough time to heal.

Just because I'm a Christian
Doesn't mean it's okay to mock my beliefs,
Or to call them and my God stupid #FF0000 ">Period

Just because I'm a Christian
Doesn't mean I'm a punching bag,
Or am here to get bashed over the head.

Just because I'm a Christian
Doesn't mean I'm like the others,
Whom you judge at first glance #FF0000 ">Period

Just because I'm a Christian
Doesn't mean you should forget I'm human,
And also deserve to have a chance.

This is beautifully written and expresses some of the thoughts that gather in my mind sometimes. Very good job!!!

@Alz

Thank you so much! I am glad that you understand.

Love. Love. Love. That is all... well, not quite. I love the fact that it isn't completely polished. It makes this feel so much more real. While having a poem with long words and fancy description suits works in many poems, the simplicity is what makes this one so special. There is so much emotion put into this, and I relate to nearly all of it. As one of the only Christians in my school, I completely understand where you are coming from.
Thank you for putting this into words. It truly echoes what is in my heart, and from the other posts here, what is in the hearts of so many.
-Alz

@skwaag5233

I wrote this from my heart and it is about things I have witnessed and experienced. I know that many, MANY Christians are very nasty and pompous, worse than the people they condemn, and it paints a picture that Christians are rude, ungrateful haughty people. Yes, many Christians have no right to talk about being judged and persecuted because their demeanor is ugly. People have been very, very nasty to me and my friends because they found out I was a Christian. I never did anything to them, and most of the time barely knew them, let alone their names, but the bad example Christians have brought upon themselves leaves me little choice as to how people picture me. But that doesn't mean I can't express this, express how I feel about being judged and mistreated by others for the mistakes of someone else. It hurts to be judged, Christian or not.
This poem does not have the advanced vocabulary, imagery and diction that my other poems have because that is not at all what I wanted. Believe me, I am an imagery addict. if your poem has little or no imagery, I will point that out first, plus I just love to draw and create pictures and scenes in my head. I wanted the repetition and the simple words just to convey my feelings, not to have a grade "A" poem. I did that on purpose, and they seem to have served their purpose, which was to get the majority of my readers to understand what is trying to be conveyed.
Thank you for your input.

@ freewritersavvy

Thank you so much! I don't think anyone has said anything so kind about me before!

@inkwell

When someone says they walk all over you, it means that they treat you like dirt and don't care about it. Also, I wanted my sentences to be blunt and to the point, because it came straight from my heart and I wanted to convey my feelings as "authentic" as they are inside of me. That's why I left all of the bells and whistles out of it; all I wanted was for my poem to be understandable.

@tydecker777

Thanks for pointing that out, I will correct it
I wanted those lines to be repetitive because that's just how I wanted it to be, I guess. I like it.

@Butterfinger

Thanks and will do!

@emmylove

Thank you!
It was hard to make things rhyme in some parts without changing the feeling I was trying to convey, and I spent the most time on those. But if I do come up with something better, I will change it

@Vapor

Thanks!

@animekaratepup
That was the main point, but I wanted to address some specific issues, plus saying it's not good to be nasty it too... blunt, for a poem, plus it would be a lot shorter.
The cheek part expresses my feelings that Christians should not be repeatedly abused because their belief system does not allow retaliation. I am not speaking of life and death and stoning. Those are more extreme cases, and not many people stone other people in America
I know I can PM people, but my box is full enough, and that's not how I do it. I just reply to everyone on my post.

*sigh* guess im going to have to be the lone party pooper. First of all Christians in America have no place in saying that they're being discriminated against. Unless you are living in an authoritarian country like North Korea or a predominantly (insert religion here) country then you have no room in saying any of the things you addressed. And yes I know you don't say you were discriminated or judged based on your faith anywhere in the poem but it is implied greatly. Second of all the poem is not very well written either. You follow a very basic pattern. "just because im a christian, doesn't mean ******, or that ******. Just because 'm a christian, doesn't mean ****, when *****." No interesting vocab. No interesting metaphors. No interesting imagery. But of course I can't just rip on you this critique. It wouldn't be much of a review if I just ripped on you. Well for one get better themes and think about what you're writing about. According to your profile you're 16. You should know enough about the world to know that Christians have no room in writing these sort of things. Just like white people in Europe have no place in saying "well just because I'm White doesn't mean yaba bladabahh". Second of all use more complex vocabulary. There's no big words, minimal metaphors, and no imagery. I'm not a poem person but I've occasionally read a poem that I actually kinda liked. You know what they all had in common? Big words, lots of cool metaphors, and lots of cool imagery, and weird fucking words.

I now see why others quote the entire poem in their reviews. It doesn't show up in box down below!:smt091 (It's because there's two pages, but I'd still like to see it. ) So I'm gonna do that, but leave out the parts I don't have comments on. (Which is what I do anyway....)

Just because I'm a Christian
Doesn't mean I'm better than you,
Or that my life is worth more than yours

Just because I'm a Christian
Doesn't mean I should condemn you,
Whenever I don't agree with what you do#FF0000 ">.

Just because I'm a Christian
Doesn't mean I have to turn the other cheek
When it hasn't had enough time to heal.

Just because I'm a Christian
Doesn't mean it's okay to mock my beliefs,
Or to call them and my God stupid

Just because I'm a Christian
Doesn't mean I'm a punching bag,
Or #FF0000 ">that I'm am here to get bashed over the head.

Just because I'm a Christian
Doesn't mean I'm like the others,
Whom you judge at first glance

Just because I'm a Christian
Doesn't mean you should forget I'm human,
And #FF0000 ">that I also deserve to have a chance.

Thank you all for the reviews!

Well said! I think the world needs to learn a few things from this. As well as many Christians. Very, very well said.

Hey there I'm Christian as well, and I can really relate. A lot of people are just like, "So, you're Christian? You hate abortion and gays? You're a right-winged nut? You're going to push your religion onto me?" But that's not it at all. True, there are some people who fit the stereotype perfectly, but most of us don't. It's not a black and white thing, especially not for me (or you, I'm assuming).

Not that I'm a poet or anything, but I noticed that you sort of had a rhyme scheme. There were mostly strong rhymes, but there were two slant rhymes, and I'm not a huge fan of slant rhymes (because I'm weird like that). If you tried re-wording it so that the slant rhymes turned into strong rhymes, I feel like your rhyme scheme would get noticed more, even though you were probably focusing more on the content of this poem.

Another thing (this might just be personal preference, yet again, because I'm no poet and I'm not used to reviewing poetry) is that you repeat "Just because I'm a Christian" a lot. It doesn't look like a lot on paper because it's only the first line of each stanza, but each stanza is only three lines and the lines are pretty short, so I would suggest either making the lines longer or have more lines per stanza.

Other than that, I really appreciate you posting this Keep writing! That is all.

Wow, there's already soooo many reviews!! You poem speaks a lot of truth that many people disregard. No matter what your religion, the way people treat you shouldn't be based on your beliefs. Although we're human, there are times where we need to accept that people have to right to worship as they please. I love the repetition of "Just because I'm a Christian." It helps us as readers see your point. Keep writing!

Hello there =] I liked the message of this poem, and here recently I've had a lot of religious disputes with someone. I myself, am questioning whether I'm a Christian on not, but it just drives me bonkers when someone freaks out when another religion is even mentioned in conversation. So Im glad that you pointed out that you're different. =] I found one error, and I'm not sure which line, but you say cares instead of care. Also, The Just because I'm a Christian is a bit too repetitive. I'm not sure what I would do about that though. I really enjoyed this poem and I'm glad that you stood up for what you believe in =]

Having verbally mocked many Christians in my life, this was a little hard to read. Parts were silly, without actually making me laugh, parts were odd, and made me want to stop reading.

For instance:
"Walk all over you as I do to the floor."

What does this mean? I think you need to rephrase this.

One of the things I like about your poem is that it is proud, but aware of the fact that there are a lot of "bad" christians. The last stanza was powerful and makes a good conclusion, but it doesn't rescue the many trite stanzas attempting to hitch their wagon on it. If I were you I would try not to be so literal with your phrasings.

Very well done! More people in the world need to have this outlook on being a christian and seeing a christian . So many times the judging of others, on both sides of the fence, gets way out of hand! Loving each other gets thrown out the window just so peoples pride can grow! It is sad.

I can see your heart in what you have written here, and what I see is very beautiful indeed. I commend you on your point of view and on your writing style.

Thank you for sharing.
~FW~

Thank you all for your reviews!

@ Whisperer
My target audience is to everyone, Christians and non-Christians. Oh, and misjudgement happens a lot in others places of the world, especially where there are diverse religions and when Christians misrepresent Christ. I did not put periods at the end of some stanzas because the next stanza would rhyme with it.

Nice poem! ^_^ It is very true and pure and I can see nothing wrong with it. I hope all the other people in the world can get this message. It's really worth reading. My question is why you didn't put periods at the end of the other verses. Anyway, I have one sort of problem here: I can't relate much. o.o Don't get me wrong! I'm also a Christian and I agree with everything in the poem. But, in my position as a Christian, I'm not completely certain as to whom the target reader/s is/are, except other Christians of course. I think that it's because in my country (Philippines), the majority is Christian (there are only various denominations) and I hardly experience or even heard of such an issue occurring, which is being misjudged by other people.

Nevertheless, nice job! The wording is simple and easily understandable, which makes it easier for readers to relate. I think the little bits of imagery are enough too. It isn't actually that necessary, but I think that it'll be better and easier to connect to if there were a few more imageries in it. (But, I admit, I'm not good at imagery xD)

Never stop writing! I hope I made sense in my review xD.

All I can say is: YES! I'm a strong Christian and I can't tell you how many times others have given me weird looks for it, or excluded me from doing something just because they didn't think I'd want to because of my beliefs, and even my good friends judge me for it. I'm glad there seems to be others like me out there

Thank you all so much for your reviews and likes!

You did an amazing job of expessing what so many of us feel.. I loved the part about us only being human.. No, I loved the whole thing! Great job! Thank you for writing this, and thank you for posting it!!

Nice, I quite like this poem. The repartition is nice but is of the prefaces of being over done, but it not there yet so it.s okay. I really felt your emotion coming thought. In general it was a nice and simple poem. I usually hate poems about religion but this was quite pleasant. The more I read it the more I like it.

You seemed to be well balanced in your beliefs. But you must accept the fact that not everybody is. That some Christians do think they are better than everybody else. Just like some other non-religious people think they are better than you.

In the scope of things Christians are not the victims, they stopped being the under dog when they over threw Rome and turned it in to the ' Holy Roman Empire' almost 2000 years ago.

Any way, great job.

Very nicely-written. I'm not a Christian myself, although I do appreciate Christ and what he represents. I can be pretty cynical about Christianity, but I have to remember that there are many thoughtful Christians, like you. I had myself baptized when I was 12, but I've come to resent the attitudes that move around in the church where I was baptized. Mind you, there are other churches, and I've met several ministers who have thoughtful, insightful things to say. Hm. Maybe I should actually give sunday morning service another chance... If it wasn't so dang early in the morning... You've covered a broad range of experience, and it's quite relevant stuff... a publishable poem, I think. Have you thought of approaching the United Church Observer, or other Christian publications? Perhaps you should.

Hmmm.... Can't say anything as far as editing goes! Good job! Loved this poem! Very much the truth! I am Christian as well ;D!

I particularly enjoyed this poem. I'm sure you can guess why. Yep, I'm a Christian too! Anyone who is a Christian or has come into contact with them will be able to relate to at least part of this, but as a Christian who resents the bad name some people give us, I can relate to all of it. What I like most about the poem is that it adresses both sides of the spectrum. For instance, many Christians talk about how persecuted they are, and many athiests talk about how much Christians look down on them, but few people can find the middle ground, and say that Christans shouldn't be persecuted, nor should they act high and mighty. One of the biggeset problems I've found is that people turn away from God not because they don't like Christianity, but because they don't like the Christians they meet who look down on them. Because of this, we take a lot of flak from those people because we get grouped in with the false Christians. I'm glad to see someone who understands this issue, and uses their prowess at poetry (at which I'm hopeless) to adress it. Glory to Christ!
your brother,
---Psudiname

I really love this poem (and I don't really like poems)
And I like the part that you said you're not a punching bag. LOVE IT!

Looooooooooooooooooooooove this poem! It's absolutely inspiring and soul-touching! I'm a very observant and practicing Cristian, and I'm so so so glad to read this poem! It's so true, and so emotional! I don't know if it's just me because I sympathize, but I really feel so connected to this poem here.

Just because I'm a Christian
Doesn't mean I'm a jerk,
Or cares nothing about how others feel

Just because I'm a Christian
Doesn't mean I have to turn the other cheek
When it hasn't had enough time to heal.

Just because I'm a Christian
Doesn't mean it's okay to mock my beliefs,
Or to call them and my God stupid

Just because I'm a Christian
Doesn't mean I'm a punching bag,
Or am here to get bashed over the head.

Just because I'm a Christian
Doesn't mean I'm like the others,
Whom you judge at first glance

Just because I'm a Christian
Doesn't mean you should forget I'm human,
And also deserve to have a chance.

Lovely poem.
Very well-written!
Beautiful concept and full of truth. Everyone needs to read this.

Favorite Stanza Below...

Just because I'm a Christian
Doesn't mean I have to turn the other cheek
When it hasn't had enough time to heal.

Just because I'm a Christian
*Doesn't mean it's okay to mock my beliefs,
Or to call them and my God stupid

I LOVE IT! You breathed the essence of Christianity

Keep writing! I loved this!

~H. C. Smith

hellloow shiney
I love this poem..as you already know XD I really don't have any criticism for you..
I think a lot of christians can relate to this..especially the part about being judged for something someone else did..
nice work!!
-qaralynn-