Cade

forgot to mention its free verse. i'm not particularly into following a fixed rhythm. i just put my thoughts on paper in the best way possible. but i will definitely ...

It's sweet...but that's about all it has. It doesn't strike me as that original...even the speaker's voice is very...Lifetime movie, know what I mean? But really, originality is the big ...

Snoink, you're such a darling. I mean that in the you-as-a-person-sense and the you-meaning-the-speaker-of-this-poem sense. It's strong because the voice is so personal. You manage to have your speake

afamiliarsmile - Bumping your piece is generally frowned upon at YWS. I probably shouldn't be rewarding it with a critique, but as I'm here... The first paragraph is a great ...

To be honest, the grammar and technical issues in this piece were so bad I almost didn't make it through. Do you know what it's like to read something like ...

Metaphor. The pouring metaphor was interesting, but it's butter spread over too much bread, if you get my drift...it's not enough for this poem. I'd feel a lot better about ...

Mmm, this is yummy. I'm listening to the Leonard Cohen album "Songs From A Room" right now and your poem complements it. Have you ever read or listened to Leonard ...

This sort of "message" poem belongs in a chain email or animal shelter advertisement, not here. It doesn't strike me as a serious piece in any way. So. Spay/neuter the ...

It seems to be more of a fragmenty summary of an event than anything else. What do you want the poem to say, other than "here is my description of ...

I agree with Snoink--it seems to be too much stuffed into one poem. But the poem as a whole has big problems because it's all show and no tell. It's ...

Agree with Eimear. "Overkill" is right. The poem revolves around this horrid pattern of repetition. It reeks of first grade. Not only is the repetition annoying, I'm not sure you ...

I'm going to have to agree with SHM. I think this poem has a lot of potential in terms of expressing emotion--unrequited love? Love lost? It's fine if you write ...

I agree with Melja. The poem is way too vague to lead anywhere. It's like listening to two people share an inside joke...you have no idea what's going on. You ...

To all: There is such a thing as prose-poetry. It can be legitimately posted in the poetry section. alfletcher--What do you really want to SAY with this? We all know ...

Clockworks, I noticed that this is at least your second new poem today. Please refrain from posting more than one work per day, and remember to do a lot of ...