Published February 11, 2008
[pre]
Spring the beginning,
summer growth, autumn aging,
winter the ending.[/pre]
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Canary word: Present
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140,861 Literary Works • 673,695 Reviews
The only thing I really liked about this poem was the comparison to life. Otherwise it seemed a little ordinary. Find something much more powerful to express in just so many words - only then will your haikus truly resonate.
6/10
No, you didn't hurt my feelings.
If I never got criticism, I'd never do better.
I'm so sorry if I hurt your feelings or somthing. They told me to be honest when I'm reviewing and...
Thanks, for those who liked it.
And thanks for those who didn't. I know it's not the best Haiku and it's relatively unoriginal, not to mention simple and could be a whole lot better. I'll submit something better next time.
It felt seriouly rushed and the writing seemed flat . Even though it's a haiku it should be interesting. Sorry ,I feel so bad saying this
.
Sure, it may not have been the most original poem I have ever read, but you reflected it really well and I liked it! It is one of my favourite Haikus, but it just seems a bit... done.
But hey, Keep writing!
~D'Aedomir~
Hey
I know that i already commented on this, but i love this Haiku so much, its awesome. I love it love love it, it is the best Haiku i've ever read.
Thankyou for writing it
T
Hi,
I love this. It is short and to the point but still is really good.
-Cait
Hey
You show talent when you write. I love this haiku i thought it was amazing, and i agree with you about the way you described the seasons.
Good job
T
The most useful thing I was told about haikus is that some of the best ones have a 'twist' at the end. To interest the reader and make the haiku stand out.
Clockworks, I noticed that this is at least your second new poem today. Please refrain from posting more than one work per day, and remember to do a lot of critiques.
As for the haiku, I don't think it offers something very new or interesting. Yes, a haiku is supposed to focus on nature, but what has this poem told us that we didn't already know? Spring representing birth and winter representing death is so old and cliche that it's basically ingrained into your reader's mind. Tell us something new for a change!
-Colleen