Cade

I second basically everything BFG said, especially the part about trying to take on the world with one poem. Try to focus on just one moment in time, one step ...

I'm so pleased to see things finally coming together! Yes! Connections are made! “Tomato, tomato…” I assume he's doing the thing where people go to-may-to, to-mah-to. I'd like it if ...

I agree with Clau on the rhyme-rhythm stuff. I think you have some really interesting phrases in here, and then some...not so interesting ones. This piece would be much better ...

I knew when I read the title that this piece was going to be cliche. It's a nice message, but I agree with mandax; you could definitely be more subtle. ...

Ooh, shivers. I completely approve of the theme and meaning of this poem, and probably most of the phrases. Line/stanza breaks: Okay, just stanza things, really. I'm all for having ...

Dude! Sweet rhyme! This was well-described and structured. There are really only some minor rhythm problems here. [s]Between[/s] Among(st) flickers of an unearthly dance Captivating all who stare, ent

No, I totally got that the second stanza was about the scientific side of love. It's a bit cluttered, but as you edit more, I believe that it will become ...

Lol, sounds like something I would write in English class (that is, when I'm not writing hate notes to Charles Dickens). I like the idea of words being like water, ...

Dialogue: not as realistic as in previous episodes. An example: Jonathon nodded. “How do you do it, Kyle?” Kyle furrowed his brow. “Do…what?” “Keep from loving peop

Oh, I really enjoyed this one! I didn't completely understand it, but the images were beautiful and the ending gave me little shivers. Red = dislike , green = like ...

All's fair in love and war, eh? cigarette smoke hangs in the air like gunsmoke, the sofa has become a battleground. its soft cushions hold nothing but fear. my policy ...

This poem is really too general. It could be about any love story, except for the Shankill and Falls references; if you're going to write about religious problems in Ireland, ...

Our customers are [s]very[/s] awful rude And so we serve them fatty food[s]s[/s] And then their [s]arterys[/s] arteries will clog Their hearts will fail them in the night [s]It will ...

I disagree with Phorcys - the rhyme is what makes this poem entertaining. It's not supposed to be serious, really, is it? The first stanza is fine; it draws the ...

Basically, I second everything bubbles said. I do like the imagery; you do a great job at describing the feelings, but I also need something a little more concrete to ...