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  • Poetry » General, General Re: Incandescent

    Kyll! This is lovely. I'm not entirely sure if there's a purpose for the line breaks, but I would recommend reworking them (I wouldn't be surprised if I'm missing something ...

    Oct 13, 2015
  • Poetry » Dramatic, Realistic Re: Srgsrgrwg

    I'm going to ignore the cliche nature of this poem in all its angstiness -- I think that this is too general, and too demanding in its questions in order ...

    Oct 12, 2015
  • Poetry » General, General Re: dying

    Hi there! I thought this was nice the and the structure is quite nice. However, I think a lot of weakness lies in the very passive language. Phrases like, "many ...

    Oct 12, 2015
  • Poetry » Realistic, Literature Re: Where I'm From

    This begins in a very interesting way and then immediately heads straight downhill. What goes from a interesting, fresh image soon degrades into useless generalizations and unspecific ideas. "Middle o

    Aug 22, 2015
  • Poetry » Realistic, Dramatic Re: it was cold

    In the first stanza, the subjects and perspectives are confusing and a bit muddled. It's distracting as all hell. You have some really interesting imagery, especially "i swallow it like ...

    Apr 17, 2015
  • Poetry » General, General Re: Binge watching tv, or, How to move on with your life, or, A letter to my ex boyfriend

    Not really my cup of tea in topic or anything, but that's okay! However, I did have a big problem: there is very little that is actually emotionally engaging in ...

    Dec 30, 2014
  • Short Story » Romantic, Teen Fiction Re: ...

    This has beautiful, fresh descriptions in it-- something I both strive for and absolutely admire in your writing. HOWEVER, at times, it is forced, it doesn't quite register at first, ...

    Dec 15, 2014
  • Poetry » General, General Re: The Phoenix

    Your poem is filled with generic and plain vocabulary. There is no specificity; there is nothing to envision. Frankly, there's nothing really of interest at all. I appreciate what you're ...

    Sep 6, 2014
  • Short Story » Fantasy, Realistic Re: What does the fox say?

    I can't tell if this is a joke or not...? Theme isn't working with the concept you're trying to push it through. The diction and weight that you're trying to ...

    Nov 18, 2013
  • Poetry » Lyrical, Romantic Re: Dear no one, I think I need a dollar.

    Cool concept! Unfortunately you managed to pick lines that are basically a bunch of cliches and offer very little to a poem. There are lots of songs out there that ...

    Nov 18, 2013
  • Poetry » Romantic, General Re: I never believed in Gabriel until I saw God

    Hi hi hi. So! There's lots of cool stuff in this and lots of not-so-cool stuff. I really, really like some of the things you've got going on here, but ...

    Nov 18, 2013
  • Poetry » Realistic, General Re: Ever Thought of Life?

    Nooot crazy about the list structure. If you want to go through with it, develop your ideas, give it a sense of rote and mantra, as if this is a ...

    Nov 11, 2013
  • Poetry » Lyrical, General Re: lead is thicker than blood is thicker than water

    Hey darlingface. You get my special review, as I said before. So I don't have much to say on this, I'm not like you and can't really pull out 5 ...

    Nov 4, 2013
  • Poetry » General, General Re: Detroit

    Hi! So haikus are odd things to review and I don't do em much but I have a couple of thoughts about this one all the same. First off, there ...

    Oct 14, 2013
  • Poetry » Realistic, Other Re: The Hidden Men

    Hi there. First off, spelling -- I hate mentioning stuff like that but it was distracting. Secondly, did you mean to put "give the strong man help?" because that kind ...

    Oct 12, 2013


You know that place between sleep and awake, that place where you still remember dreaming? That’s where I’ll always love you. That’s where I’ll be waiting.
— J.M. Barrie, Peter Pan