Angel17

Your poem was nice, but lacks depth. Maybe more imagery?

I also agree the imagery was beautiful, and the flow was wonderful :)

Really funny! lol :D

it was um.... strange. But i liked it, do a sequel! :D

I agree, that the story has potential, but the characters feelings weren't portrayed well enough. I could not relate, or sympathise with any of the characters well. I think if ...

Many odd pauses, which prevented a clear flow. But a very original topic!

Some nice imagery in this, however lacked flow sometimes

Your rage was really portrayed in this!

It was short and simple. Nice imagery. :D And welcome to YWS!

WOW, this was beautifully written! and flowed perfectly. :D

I agree with Xanthan Gum. The ending did not flow at all, and the rest of the poem lost its effect because of this.

A lovely poem. A very good ending, the best part. Beautiful flow and rhythm :D

I thought the spaces and missing letters were a really creative idea. I really liked the poem, very original. :D

This was a very strong poem. I loved the flow of the poem. :D

A sweet and simple poem. As many previously mentioned, a poem many could relate to :D