Anamel

The structure of this poem is concise, short, yet not boring or plain. Some could criticize it and say you use too many commas, but in my opinion, I feel ...

Even though it's short I like how you get a sense of the theme upon first reading it but also have to re-examine it to piece it altogether. In my ...

"She came too slowly, groggily stretching before realizing that she couldn’t fully move." *to instead of too, too would be used if there was more of something than usual or ...

What stood out to me immediately is the format. It's pushed all the way to the left side and it's quite blocky, so it's hard to keep focus on reading ...

The way you write provides a lot of imagery yet isn't so descriptive and lengthy that it becomes too much to handle. It's quite precise and clean-cut. What I would ...

"Second period was located in the gym and everyone was wearing sports attire: white shirts and black and gold jogging pants." There's really nothing wrong with this sentence in terms ...

The format is blocky so I suggest separating it as well as using fewer commas and not putting random spaces in between. You also have a lot of run-on sentences ...

"“Tadashi is that really the best idea? A mansion that is said to be haunted.” I said." This isn't a necessary change, although you could also substitute 'said' with 'ask' ...

"A small, dark shadow crept along the wall. Another man sat on his horse next to the wall in the shadows." By the second sentence, the reader can already infer ...

I like the way you introduce the story. It's not some lengthy backstory or annoying drama. It's simple and a bit funny, which opens a small pathway that can widen ...

The format is noticeable considering how blocky it is. I suggest splitting up the big paragraphs so it attracts more easier and so that it becomes easier to read. Oftentimes ...

The first thing I noticed was the format. It's pretty blocky and in big paragraphs so I suggest splitting them up to make them easier to read. Another thing you ...

I thought it was pretty humorous she's called Mrs. Pringle throughout the entire story and that it's her real last name. Also instead of 'her's' just put hers instead, it ...

"Faeries?", The elf boy scoffs, "Faeries don't exist Jashir. They are just wives tales." Don't capitalize 'the' and 'faeries' in the second half of the sentence since they're technically still ...

Easily this poem could be one of a few representations of the 21st century. It also reflects, unfortunately, the life of some people that have become so engrossed in the ...