Alteran

Hey, I'm doing this on behalf of the CCF. Characters I'm not sure if the guy writing the letters is the same as the one in the narrated part. The ...

O_O Best one so far. THey can only get better from here of course. You portrayed ms. Stick as a perfect slut, and Rick as a great first timer. I ...

Holy crap , she was fast! I paused to catch my breath. I knew I wouldn't find her now; at the speed she was going, she was long gone. When ...

More to be desired Chapter 1 " It may not be perfect, " Joanna mumbled as she gazed upon the miniature-sized mansion [s]that would become her home[/s], but it would ...

Chapter I: Season of the Pikara The seaside town[s], which[/s] lay nestled at the foot of a mountain[s],[/s] . It was one of the many to be visited by the ...

“Honey… are you sure you want to go?” “Yes, I ar’dy told you!” The adorable girl had her jaw stuck out in [s]the[/s] perfect measure of her stubbornness. Her mother ...

Well, great. My crit is gone so I'm just gonna give you advice now. Descriptions. Your's are great. really Brilliant. I just suggest trimming them a bit. Make your words ...

Quinn is hysterical and sacry all at once. I love the way she toyed with Jacob. It was brilliant. And when you said Alex got kicked in his manhood that ...

I get it, but i agree it's a bit unstructured. I like the mystery but i think our mystery man would organize his thoughts better if he was trying to ...

Chapter Three: End of Innocence “What… What have I done?” Kai looked at his bloody, clawed hand in horror. “How could I do such a thing?” He began to feel ...

Chapter two: When I got home “Why hadn’t Jacob come?” I asked myself when I was sure that he Is this Jacob or someone else? It gets confusing when you ...

“Fuck that man, we haven’t DONE anything! Call an[s]d[/s] ambulance, damn it! ‘The fuck is wrong with you pigs!” Well. That was absolutely Brilliant! I love it and hate it ...

Chapter one: How I met her When I saw her, there was no question to it; I absolutely [s]HAD[/s] I suggest placeing the had in italics rather than caps. to ...

It's great to have a nice vocab but if your readers cant understand what you're saying than the poem is no good. I mean It's funny but a poo joke. ...

I read it and got ot the edge of my seat than read the last part and felt like smacking my head against the desk. A good thing :D I ...